How to Avoid the Dreaded “How was your weekend?”Question

I took the day off of work yesterday (Monday 5th September) as it was my birthday.

It was fantastic and I did some of my favourite things:

  • watched TV (alone);
  • played video games (alone);
  • had in-depth conversations with my cat (sort of alone);
  • had an in-depth conversation with my budgie (Jimmy) who actually talks (sort of alone);
  • I then had a mini fight with Jimmy because he started being a dick by stealing some of my birthday cheese scone from my plate!
  • went and played snooker (alone); and
  • travelled to meet my wife at work (sitting as far away from others on public transport as possible, of course) after which we bought some nice food and a Turtles birthday cake (Raphael, since you ask — they were out of Leonardo cakes, sadly) and then went home to have our own little private party (just the two of us).

Upon returning to work today, I realised something — nobody asked me how my weekend was. I normally try and slip into the office as quietly as I can to avoid any small talk, but always get caught by one particular person who is always itching to ask how I am and how my weekend was and did I enjoy it and what did I do and just shut up shut up shut up!

But, today, I wasn’t asked how my weekend was for some reason, but I just couldn’t think of why that might be…and then it hit me.



Asking about people’s weekends is such a “Monday” thing to do!

And that got me thinking…what if I used a significant proportion of my annual leave to (strategically) book every Monday off between now and the end of time so that I won’t be forced to answer the same inane questions about my weekend dozens of times?

Some might consider that a somewhat extreme measure, but it would certainly make me feel much more comfortable!

Thankfully, nobody is aware / has remembered that it is my birthday. Although, I have just seen a birthday card floating around the office…