Humility Vs. Low Self-Esteem: Embracing Humility as an Introvert

Humility and low self-esteem often get confused. They may seem similar at first glance but they’re actually quite different.

Humility

So what is humility? It’s having an attitude of modesty that comes from understanding your place in the larger order of things. It means not taking your desires, successes, or your failings too seriously.

Humility is a virtue, a behaviour that involves having high moral values. When you’re humble you have a realistic view of yourself. You can recognise your strengths and weaknesses and you’re open to feedback and constructive criticism. You’re willing to learn from others and don’t consider yourself to be superior to anyone. For example, take a leader who recognises that they don’t have all the answers and actively seeks input from their team. They’re displaying humility.

Low Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is your opinion of yourself, how you see and value yourself, and having a negative perception is low self-esteem. When someone has low self-esteem it can lead to self-doubt and a lack of confidence. Feelings like you’re not good enough or that you don’t deserve success are common. You might find it difficult to show kindness to yourself and making decisions can be difficult. Finding it difficult to believe that you’re worthy, that you matter and that you deserve happiness are familiar feelings.

For some, even if they have achieved great things, they can still think they’re not worthy or not smart enough. With low self-esteem a person can be excessively focussed on their flaws and have a lack of appreciation for their strengths.

So many things can impact our self-esteem; genetics for example, social circumstances, life experiences, reactions of others and social comparison. What is important to remember is that self-esteem is not fixed, it’s malleable. Meaning you can measure it and with work, shift the needle in the right direction.

Misrepresented

Humility and low self-esteem are often misrepresented. But there are clear differences between the two and understanding these differences is essential for your own personal development, success and happiness.

Being humble is recognising that you’re flawed and have weaknesses, but also recognising what your talents and strengths are. In contrast, having low self-esteem is only viewing yourself as having flaws and weaknesses, and rarely acknowledging your own strengths.

A humble person can acknowledge their weaknesses while still feeling confident in their abilities, while someone with low self-esteem may be overly critical of themselves and struggle to believe in their own worth.

Introverts

So why is this particularly relevant for introverts? Studies have shown that introverts are more humble than extroverts. Be proud of this because it’s an extremely important trait and very hard to learn. Luckily, you have this in spades!

BUT

Because of your humility you’re less likely to boast about your accomplishments or seek attention from others, and this is where it can often be mistaken for low self-esteem.

Your humility can be misunderstood due to the negative stereotyping that comes with an unawareness of the introversion spectrum. And this sucks! Not least because introverts are just as capable and competent as their extroverted counterparts, but stereotyping kills the opportunity to learn about people. It creates boundaries and false assumptions, pushing further the influence of misunderstanding.

Career limiting?

Can this false assumption impact your career? Potentially, yes. It’s common for introverts to be overlooked for promotion by those of senior and influential positions because your quietness and humility is mistaken for a lack of confidence and assertiveness.

But fear not, my introverted friend! There are ways to use humility to your advantage.

Embrace Your Strengths

Firstly, it’s important to recognise and embrace your strengths. Just because you don’t shout them from the rooftops doesn’t mean they don’t exist. We’re all good at some things so take some time to really explore what your talents are. And if you struggle to verbalise these with others, use them to your advantage in other ways. Demonstrate them through behaviours rather than words.

Speak proud

Secondly, don’t be afraid to speak up when it is necessary. Just because you’re an introvert doesn’t mean you don’t have valuable ideas and insights. When the opportunities arise, share your thoughts with your colleagues and contribute to discussions in meetings. The longer you stay quiet the stronger the reaction you’re likely to get when you do eventually speak up. Don’t be the last person to speak.

Self Compassion

Finally, practice self-compassion. It’s easy to fall into the trap of negative self-talk when you’re not as outgoing as others, or you see different personality types being rewarded and celebrate. But remember that being introverted is not a flaw, it’s a gift. So embrace who you are and be proud of it.

On the surface humility and low self-esteem may seem similar, but they’e not related. Humility is about how we see our self importance while self-esteem is how we see our self worth.

As an introvert you’re naturally humble and it has nothing to do with meekness or weakness. When you recognise this as a strength, you can use it to your advantage, particularly in the workplace.

It’s all about perspective!

Why not join my new Facebook group for the Introverted Executive. A space to communicate, collaborate and connect with people who ‘get’ you.

And if you’re interested in understanding your communication style and how to better use it to your advantage, have a look at this mini mentoring session. I call it A Golden Lesson In The Art Of Communication.

Don’t forget to clap and follow if you like this article!