Why Imposter Syndrome Afflicts Introverts & What To Do About It
That feeling you get when your achievements seem to stem from significant mistakes or pure accident.
When you feel that everyone around you is more intelligent or capable than you are and you’re not deserving of praise you receive. That could be Imposter Syndrome.
To be clear though, this isn’t an introvert only affliction, nearly 70% of adults will experience imposter syndrome at some point in their life. It may be more common among introverts than extroverts, but many of us will experience it and women tend to more susceptible than men.
Self Reflection
The very attributes that bestow us introverts our insightful perspective can also pave the way for the development of Impostor Syndrome. Our natural penchant for self-reflection, means that we’re more prone to overthinking situations. This inclination to delve deep into our thoughts can and does lead us down a rabbit hole of self-doubt, magnifying even the smallest perceived mistakes into monumental errors. Ring any bells?
Our heightened self-awareness can sometimes evolve into self-scrutiny that borders on self-criticism. We hold ourselves to exceptionally high standards, continuously evaluating our performance and achievements. This introspective process can inadvertently amplify any feelings of inadequacy, as we focus more on our perceived shortcomings than on our considerable strengths.
We’re our own harshest critics with a danger of feeding a cycle of diminishing self-esteem. Prone to underestimating our abilities, attributing our successes to luck, timing, or the efforts of others rather than acknowledging our own contributions. And as we internalise this narrative, our confidence erodes, further exacerbating the feelings of being an impostor in our own accomplishments.
Perfectionism
Do you grapple with an inherent desire for everything to be perfect? This can give rise to a series of challenges, including difficulties in making decisions and heightens our vulnerability to Impostor Syndrome. It’s the perfectionism paradox. The pursuit of excellence that’s more of a hinderance to our progress, especially within the realm of decision-making.
We’ll meticulously analyse situations and options. We seek to attain a level of certainty and assurance before proceeding, often resulting in prolonging the decision-making processes and leading us into procrastination. The quest for perfection often manifests as an attempt to eliminate any potential for mistakes or failure.
Isn’t it just so exhausting?
This examination of choices stems from a genuine aspiration to excel, yet it can so easily transform into a counterproductive cycle of overthinking.
Continuously striving for perfection, we inadvertently subject ourselves to an unattainable standard. This standard becomes a benchmark against which we judge our every action and outcome. Consequently, even minor missteps or deviations from this ideal and we’re quick to judge them as personal failures.
Validation
When it comes to seeking validation and acknowledging our accomplishments it’s fair to say we’re commonly unique. Unlike our extroverted counterparts, who often thrive on external affirmation and recognition, we tend to harbour a more internalised sense of measuring our achievements. This distinctive approach to validation, while rooted in our introspective nature, can result in a constant internal struggle to perceive our own worth.
Despite our admirable achievements, it’s not uncommon to find ourselves dismissing positive feedback and attributing our successes to factors beyond our control. We question whether our accomplishments are genuinely deserved or if we have somehow managed to deceive others into believing we are more capable than we perceive ourselves to be.
This introverted tendency to dwell on our perceived shortcomings, coupled with a reluctance to seek validation externally, creates a complex interplay of emotions. The continuous self-assessment, coupled with a lack of overt validation-seeking behaviors, can lead to a persistent struggle with imposter feelings. In turn, these feelings reinforce our belief that we are not truly deserving of recognition or praise.
Does any of this ring true for you? Yeah, me too. In fact in writing this I’m reminded that despite having done a lot of work on this personally, this is and always will be a work in progress for me.
So what steps can we take to alleviate some of the mental and emotional agony that we seem so adept at putting ourselves through?
1. Talk About It
By openly discussing how you feel with a trusted friend or partner, you have the power to destigmatise it. Soon enough, you’ll realise that you’re not alone and others in your circle can all share similar experiences.
You’ll be in good company if you join my private Facebook group. Specifically set up for introverts to share their experiences and support one another.
2. Trust Your Imperfections
Every client I work with has needed to work on not being perfect. This constant battle for excelling is exhausting and you know what? When I see someone finally accept that it’s OK to be imperfect the relief is visible.
Think about how much lighter you’ll feel when you strip away those expectations to reach what’s unattainable. When you can finally accept that you’re good enough as you are, that the work you’re doing is more than acceptable.
Remember Sheryl Sandberg’s quote “done is better than perfect”.
3. Stop Pretending
Yes, I’m talking to you. I know you do it and you know you do it. We’re all guilty of it. We pretend to be just a little more extrovert than we are because don’t feel accepted being our authentic selves. That’s not our fault by the way, society is largely geared up for extroverts.
But if we behave like frauds we’re going to feel like frauds so drop the act and just be yourself. It’s easier said than done but try not to assume that you’ll be judged for being you. When you are accepting of yourself others are more likely to respond positively towards you.
4. Own Your Successes
Listen, you didn’t get where you are today purely by chance. Nobody is that lucky! So own your successes. Take credit for all that you’ve achieved and I don’t just mean the big things. It’s also the small things you do every day that have had a compound effect on you getting where you are. Get into the habit of closing off the day by writing down 5 things you’ve achieved. The more practiced you get at looking for your positive achievements the easier it will come and you’ll start to notice a mindset shift.
5. We’re All Winging It
Every day people all over the world are just like you are following a universal cycle of attempting, stumbling and persevering to try once more. You’re not alone and it’s a safe assumption that nearly everyone you encounter is navigating life one step at a time, just like you.
I work with introverted executives to help them advance their careers and become great leaders.
If you’d like to talk to me about your career advancement you can book a call here.
Why not join my new Facebook group for the Introverted Executive. A space to unite with fellow introverts… separately of course.
