4 Dangerous Types Of Trauma Responses
Spotting whether we’re using these shame-based responses and don’t know it
“Being able to feel safe with other people is probably the single most important aspect of mental health; safe connections are fundamental to meaningful and satisfying lives.” — Bessel A. van der Kolk
If you’ve experienced trauma growing up, then I don’t have to remind you of its far-reaching effects on our sense of Self, on our ability to trust, or the emotional and physical toll it takes on our mind, body, and emotions.
We get it.
We understand how being born into a toxic family system ruled by patterns of generational abuse, emotional abandonment, distrust, narcissism, and mental illness can affect our sense of safety and consistency.
We learn early and we learn fast to fend for ourselves and to avoid another beating. We silently nod, head down, eyes to the floor, so as not to make eye contact with our caregiver, or be accused of being confrontational and disrespectful.
We’re taught to relate to the pain of feeling invalidated as normal — and we start seeing toxic as familiar and comfortable. We…
