5 Signs You’re In A Trauma Bonded Relationship

#1 You hide your true feelings, needs and vulnerabilities.

Patrícia Williams
Published in
5 min readMay 6, 2021

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Photo by Eric Ward on Unsplash

Expressions like push-pull and hot-and-cold are often used to describe the unstable, repetitive cycles that characterize trauma bonded relationships.

These relationships are much more common than we think. In fact, I’d say they’ve become the norm — the problem is, we live in a society that normalizes these patterns instead of viewing them as toxic or unhealthy.

Besides, it can be incredibly difficult to spot red flags if these red flags have always been your life.

How can you know how secure love feels like, if you’ve never had it before? How can you expect relationships to be a safe space, if love has always felt unsafe for you? How can you expect it to be reliable if it has always been a source of fear and anxiety?

Trauma bonding stems from unresolved trauma that deeply affects our beliefs and expectations regarding relationships.

In some cases, it can result in abusive relationships. However, just because there’s no abuse, it doesn’t mean the relationship is healthy. Sometimes, it can be as “simple” as two people who trigger each other’s fears and wounds with no awareness of what they’re doing.

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Patrícia Williams
Invisible Illness

Sharing my healing & awakening journey to make you feel a little less alone on yours ✧ https://linktr.ee/patriciaswilliams