5 Subtle Signs You Experienced a Rough Childhood

How these behaviors can fly under the radar if you aren’t looking for them.

Annie Tanasugarn, PhD
Invisible Illness
Published in
8 min readFeb 3, 2024

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Some may look back on their early years with fond memories of family and friends, neighborhood block parties, and feeling safe and secure in your own bed at night. For others, we grew up living in survival mode where flight or fight became the norm. We may have learned to sleep with one eye open and alert to the first sign of danger. Or, we may have faked being asleep to avoid dealing with our caregiver.

Growing up in inconsistent, unpredictable and violent conditions has a way of teaching a person just how to survive the elements. Yet, for some, the “elements” aren’t about surviving Mother Nature. They’re based on getting through another night with an abusive caregiver who’s taking their hatred of themselves and the world out on you.

While most of us can nod along in seeing the obvious red flags that someone grew up having a bad childhood, such as them developing narcissistic behavior or a taste for drugs or alcohol, there are other less obvious behaviors that also shine a light on how a person may have been raised in an unhealthy environment.

Hyper-Independence or Hyper-Dependence

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Annie Tanasugarn, PhD
Invisible Illness

Psychologist. Certified Trauma & Relationship Specialist. This is my only account.