8 Telltale Signs I Am Hyper-Independent

Although it is not in itself a mental illness, hyper-independence often keeps me from seeking the help I need

I was not quite alone when this picture was taken at Pompeii, but I usually do prefer traveling and exploring alone; Photo courtesy of the author

I have over the past few months been battling an acute episode of clinical depression, from which I have suffered for over a decade. This particular episode has been the worst since 2020 and has often left me stunned at the sheer, unsettling emptiness, the fatigue, the lack of motivation, the crippling headaches, the insomnia, the loss of appetite. The suicidal urges. The second half of 2024 has been a nightmare, almost unbearable.

Yet, I have sought emotional support a mere handful of times, and even then after immense hesitation and self-convincing.

This extreme reticence is due to a coping mechanism named ‘hyper-independence’. According to clinical psychologist Amy Marschall, PsyD, hyper-independence is when our efforts to be autonomous become extreme, and we avoid seeking help and refuse support even when in need.

Hyper-independence is often termed a trauma response. Explains licensed professional counselor Rachel Pinto, MS, LPC-S, who specializes in trauma:

Hyper-independence … can stem from past, often pervasive, traumatic experiences. These experiences may range from neglect and emotional…