A Detailed Guide to Finding a Good Therapist
If change is not happening, you deserve to find somewhere that it can happen.
As a therapist and a person who has depression, I endorse therapy for everyone. One reason is that by talking about therapy it helps destigmatize seeking professional mental health services and because I wholeheartedly believe that anyone can benefit from being heard and validated by a mental health professional.
My only caveat is that you see a “good” therapist. The reality is not all therapists are going to be a good fit for your personality and what you are experiencing. In my personal experience of finding a “good” therapist, I tried out a few therapists before I found one that was truly helpful. Here are a few things I have learned through my personal experience and through my clinical training.
Therapeutic relationship
Many studies have found that the therapeutic relationship was as important to successful therapy as the type of treatment provided. Having an effective therapeutic relationship means that you feel supported by your therapist and feel that your opinions and feelings are valued. It also means that the therapist adapts their style to your needs and includes you in setting goals for treatment.
The lack of a therapeutic relationship was the biggest reason that I switched therapists. The first therapist I went to talked a lot about her personal life. I felt that too much of the session was dedicated to learning about her when I was there to figure out what was going on with me. Another therapist that I saw was consistently 15 or more minutes late for our appointments and she never addressed why this was happening.
It made me feel that she did not value my time and that was a big issue for me. The therapist that I went to long term gave me hope from the very first session. I always left her office feeling that things would get better and that while my problems were tough they were understandable. It was still uncomfortable for me to attend sessions because of the vulnerability I felt, but I knew that it would be worth that exposure because my feelings would not be dismissed but validated.
Therapist training
Identify what type of training a therapist has, this includes their licensure, professional experience, and postgraduate training. The most common licenses for a mental health therapist are LMFT, LCSW, and CMHC. A person who is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) generally has training that is tailored to working with and integrating knowledge from a systems approach.
This means they will integrate what the greater system, such as a family or marriage relationship has on the individual in front of them. A person who is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) typically has a broader base of knowledge, including diversity, social injustice, and poverty. A person who is a Clinical Mental Health Counselor (CMHC) generally has training that is specifically aimed at treatment at the individual level. All of these licenses require a minimum of a Master’s degree and typically two years of postgraduate supervision.
Training also includes post-graduate training, certifications, and specialties. If you have been diagnosed with a condition such as Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD), Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, postpartum depression, or a personality disorder I highly recommend finding a therapist who specializes in treating these conditions. A therapist will list on their profile or website what kind of education they have had in treating these conditions.
If a professional claims to be certified in a therapy, they will typically be listed in a registry where you can verify that they have attended the baseline of training for this intervention. For example, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a very popular and effective treatment for trauma. To verify that your clinician has done the minimum training you can search on the EMDR website.
How to find a therapist
One way to start your search for a therapist is to ask family or friends for recommendations. If someone has had a great experience with a therapist see if that therapist has openings. If they don’t, ask if that therapist has referrals to a colleague that does similar work.
If you prefer not to ask family or friends or if none of them have had exceptional experiences with a therapist, then using psychology today is a great place to go next. Psychology today is a website where therapists can pay to have a profile as a way to advertise their services. One of the great features is that you can filter by zip code, insurance, specialty, and more. Look at several therapists’ bios to see if what they wrote fits with your personality and your needs. If they offer a free consultation, take advantage of that to see if it is a good fit. If they have a website, check it out and see if they have reviews. You can also look up their license and see how long they have been licensed and if they are in good standing. Mental health professionals are licensed at the state level and the state will generally have a website where you can verify a license, here is Utah’s site as an example.
It is okay to fire your therapist
If you do not feel that therapy is working, address this with your therapist. If nothing changes, go somewhere else. It is okay to fire your therapist and it does not mean that your problems are beyond help. I always tell my clients that having a good fit is important and that if they don’t feel comfortable with me I will in no way be offended if they go somewhere else.
Ultimately the reason you are attending therapy is for you. You deserve to feel better, make a change, and feel validated and your therapist should be a solid contributor to that process. If change is not happening, you deserve to find somewhere that it can happen.
Note: I recognize that not everyone has equal access to mental health services and that being able to choose a therapist and change therapists is a privilege. If you are experiencing barriers to accessing quality mental health care you can look for practices that have a sliding fee scale. If you are on Medicaid/Medicare and are limited by those options, find a practice that exclusively takes those insurances and advocate to switch to a different therapist at the practice if you do not feel your needs are being met.
