A Single Decision Is Not Enough To Define You
I remember this particular moment so well. Sitting down in the office ready to speak to the company’s Chief Technology Officer(CTO). Holding my trembling hand with my other trembling hand. Earnestly reminding myself that I was about to do the right thing. I mean, I was keeping my word. But this was so scary. I never did something like this before. I wanted to change my mind, go back to my desk and tell everyone that I couldn’t do it. They would understand, but I felt like I was betraying myself. I felt like another person crumbling in a stressful situation. I couldn’t be a hypocrite. The plunge into the unknown was too uncertain for me to be sure about anything. I took a deep breath, begun my soliloquy and ended with my resignation. Looking back a year later, I have learned so much since then.
I remember when I first returned home — I was welcomed, but with concern. Quitting your job was not something that people did quite often. Those that did do it, didn’t really go further in their life. I could feel that everyone thought that I made the wrong decision. They tried to help. As compelling as the thought of their help was, I turned it down because this was my battle. My silent endurance of this doubt forced me to face the “unemployed” stereotype. To be honest, it hurt. This only augmented my own doubt. I wasn’t sure whether I was going to make it big anymore, but I had a plan. The fear of being wrong pushed me every day. It pushed me when I was doubted by everyone. It pushed me when my job applications were being rejected. It pushed me when I didn’t know what to do. I was going to do whatever it took to prove that I was right. To prove that “wrong” decisions were only meant to show me the right path. As much as they may be judged, they are necessary.
“Things usually make sense in time, and even bad decisions have their own kind of correctness” — Miranda July
I woke up each day with the thought of being better than I was yesterday — doing this for a year can change your whole life. Each day can be a step in the right direction. Any choice that you make will get you somewhere — you have to decide whether this is where you wish to be and have the courage to move on or stay. As I looked to those enslaved by fear, I was inspired. Inspired to be their inspiration. To be their beacon of hope in a world brainwashed by brainwashed people. This is why I kept my word and still do my best to fight for something better. To have the courage to make the wrong decisions and let them show me the right way. To be the visual proof that such things are possible. That such things can be done by anyone who decides to do them. People need light to get them out of the tunnel — I wanted to be that light.
All the choices that you make are necessary to get you to your vision. Wrong or right — it makes no difference. They all are the same because they all get you somewhere. You must decide whether you must stay or move on. If you do build up the courage to make a choice, just remember that:
Don’t Stop Every Time You Make A “Wrong” Choice
You made a decision that you felt was wrong? Great! Now you know where you need to go! You can’t stop here. You have to get up each day and move towards that place. You may not have the resources that others have, but you have what you need. You are what you need. You have to decide to get up and work every day to prove that the “mistakes” were necessary. There’s no sitting behind a television screen waiting for someone to save you. I made sure that I did something every day that would get me to that place that I see in my head. In fact, I still do it! I plan my day out like a madman. Every day I add items to my To-Do list: to apply for jobs and work on my passion projects. I refused to accept being a victim. I was crazy enough to believe that I could do this. I was stubborn enough to say that I will do this. Now I will be damned if I do not get up each day with the goal of never being the same person that I was yesterday! It is all a choice. The beauty here is that the choice is yours.
“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts” — Winston S. Churchill
Do your best to:
Worry About The Big Things In Your Life
The little things are everything that we cannot control. We may never understand why our parents wake us up each morning complaining. We may never understand why the heat sweats away all of our desire to live. We may never understand everything that we cannot control. This is why they will always be the little things in our life. As much as we may fight it, we may only win when we accept what we can control. What we can control is whether we get up each morning with enough time to do our morning rituals before we go to work. Whether we do our training session every day, especially when we have every reason not to. We can control the impact we have on this world before we leave it. When we regain our self-control, society’s stereotypes fade away. Worry about what you can control because they will always be the biggest things in your life.
“In reading the lives of great men, I found that the first victory they won was over themselves” — Harry S. Truman
A single decision does not define your life. People may make you judge yourself. You may fall into complacency, but I don’t want you to stay here and think that this is life. I think that to be the worst subtle torture that we may face. No matter what society says, there are no wrong choices. There will always be more to life. As long as you still breathe, you can always change your perspective of life and move forward. Make peace with everything slowing you down. Let everything serve you. You must do what you can to leave a piece of you in this world before you settle back into the dust. How much more momentum will you gain in the wrong direction?
Invest In Your Existence, Kind Reader…