An Unclean Girl’s Crisis

I’ve never been a particularly clean girl.

Photo by CA Creative on Unsplash

I’ve been lamenting on and off for a while now. As I write this, I don’t have a clear idea where I’m going with it, but all great things start with a clean slate. Here we go.

I’ve never been a particularly clean girl.

Growing up, personal hygiene wasn’t my strong suit. I kept my room messy, breakfast, lunch, and dinner plates occupied my dressers at any and all hours, and I often forgot to put on deodorant before leaving the house. Lotion was always optional, keeping my nails trimmed never became a habit, and my shed hair was simply decoration for the carpet of my bedroom.

But I was a girl. I had time to grow out of it.

My mom always tried to help me cultivate clean habits, but I guess they never really clicked with me. School was of upmost importance to me, and I was anal-retentive in just about every aspect of it. My “i’s” were dotted and my “t’s” were crossed on every paper I wrote. School was what clicked for me. And I was functioning well enough. What else did I need?

But, at some point in my adolescence, the magic of presentation dawned on me. I’m not sure how, but suddenly I recognized that one’s reputation and how one looked and carried oneself had begun to matter. Maybe it had to do with the…