Anxiety, Depression, & Panic Attacks

I have been going through a particularly difficult life change over the last couple of months. Depression and anxiety have been at war with the parts of me that beg for inner peace and calmness.

My heart has been breaking, trying to recover from utter devastation. It’s been a daily battle just to keep my head above the raging river that I feel myself drowning in.

I have written a lot over these last couple of months, I have shared probably half of what I have written. Writing helps to ease the pain and bring me a little farther out of the deep darkness of depression. However, there are days that I can’t write. I open my blank document and begin to type and as the words begin to flow, so does the agony.

As the days begin to seem a little brighter, I am struck blindly by anxiety. The depression had began to seem less heavy when I woke one night at 3:00 a.m. in a cold sweat, feeling as though I were suffocating. Anxiety. Panic attacks.

Every morning this week, I have fought to do the simplest things while getting ready for work in the mornings. The panic attacks beginning as my feet touch the floor each morning. I’m overcome with hot and cold flashes, dizziness, my heart racing, and my knees giving out. My stomach is suddenly in knots and I feel dreadfully nauseated.

I remind myself that everything is going to be ok, I will be fine. I just have to make it through another day and I’m that much closer to the end of this, the end of the devastation and anxiety of my crumbling world.

There are some days that the encouragement of friends, is the only thing that gets me from moment to moment. I love those friends, and only they truly know my truth and the reality behind my pain.

To the friends and loved ones of anyone dealing with depression, anxiety, or panic attacks, please know that your love and support means so much to them. For anyone suffering from these things, you are not alone, allow yourself to lean on your friends for support, that’s what they are there for.