Autistic Mirroring, Masking, & “Unstable Personality”
Yet another ‘ah-ha’ moment for me
Have you ever…
Do you ever feel like you don’t know who you are? Like you’ve been observing people who seem socially successful, learning what works for them, and trying to mirror their behaviour in attempts to avoid continued negative social experiences?
That’s how I felt for throughout my teens and into young adulthood. It’s only really since I’ve learned more about myself, in particular my neurotype, that I’ve been able to begin unmasking; embracing who I am, and working to reveal my authentic self.
Mirroring and masking
One of my most popular pieces is I Was Masking For So Long, I Lost Myself. That story begins with the following quote:
“She doesn’t have her own personality, she just acts like whoever she’s with.”
An observant, but cruel bully said this about me, I think I was about 12 years old at the time.
As mean as this classmate was to me, this statement was spot on. Ironically, it was people like her who contributed to my attempts at blending in which she was now criticizing.
Who wouldn’t want to blend in with the crowd in an attempt to escape relentless bullying…
