Can You Forgive Someone Who Isn’t Sorry?
Is forgiveness a two-way street or can we do it alone?
Vulnerability
The first time I was hit with a major depressive episode, I was in such bad shape I could barely breathe. It was a full system meltdown, compromising my energy, sleep, eating, mood, ability to think and organize and maintain even very close relationships. It was a terrifying experience that coaxed me toward death and undermined my confidence that I could stop it.
One thing that became clear early on was that some of the people I counted the closest in my life were not necessarily the most helpful. Depression is a hard thing to understand. I didn’t blame them.
To admit that you’re at a loss as to how to deal with a friend or family member is one thing. But to insist that you know precisely what to do is harmful and a threat to the relationship.
At the most vulnerable point you’ve been in your life, to endure the disapproval, the insistence on various ways to get better, and the disrespect when their methods don’t work is the last thing you need from a friend.
Gretchen
And that is exactly what happened with Gretchen. Hers is a hurt that lingers decades afterwards and while it doesn’t consume me, there is a…
