Conquer Your Stress, Anxiety, and Fear within Minutes

Discover the power of your breath and mindfulness.

Photo by Guille Álvarez on Unsplash

I am a high stress and an anxiety-prone individual and always have been. It takes a lot of consistent effort to keep my anxiety, fear, and stress under control even under the best of conditions. Put me in a crisis and they can become an all-consuming monstrous beast if not tamed quickly.

I also hold degrees in psychology and counseling, so I fully understand the impact that stress has on the brain and our mental and physical health and the importance of effective management. In my work as a health coach, stress and its wide range of effects like anxiety and fear are always a primary concern for my clients. The ever-growing demands of modern-day living take its toll on all of us and require special attention on an ongoing basis.

During my teens and twenties, I suffered from disabling anxiety attacks, which I successfully overcame with changes in diet and lifestyle. This is what prompted me to go to college and become a mental health professional.

Therefore, I have become an expert on the topic, so to speak, out of both personal necessity and professional responsibility. Through this process and decades of practice and teaching, I have acquired a treasure chest of strategies to help manage stress, fear, and anxiety effectively. However, over the years I have discovered two core habits that should lay the foundation for reaching our goal.

Stress, anxiety, and fear are managed most effectively when our approach is built into the natural rhythms of our lives. We want to implement daily habits that will increase our stress threshold (the level of stress your body can handle before negative effects occur) and activate the parasympathetic nervous system (the calming, relaxation response that turns off the sympathetic nervous system, aka stress response system). When we live in this manner, then we are starting each day with a higher tolerance for whatever life will throw at us.

Like any foundation, we will build upon these principles at a later date by adding other proven methods, techniques, and strategies as needed, but first, we want to focus on building a strong base, and in my experience that is achieved best and most easily with our breath and mindfulness-based meditation.

Don’t Pathologize and Be Kind to Yourself

Before mastering the breath and mindfulness, we want to adjust the mindset to prepare us for the habits we will be implementing. Stress, anxiety, and fear are normal human responses — it is okay to experience them. Among other things, they motivate us to take action when there is a task to tend to or a crisis at hand. They are hard-wired into our biochemistry and happen automatically to ensure the survival of the species and there is no way to eliminate them. Some people are more prone to higher levels, which requires a more dedicated commitment to the management path.

Do not beat yourself up or label your stress, anxiety, and fear as pathological. The goal is to keep them from growing out of control and mitigate the disruption to your life and damage to your health. Accept them as a natural part of life. So, say to yourself, out loud if necessary, “this is okay,” “this is normal.” Listen to any messages they may have that can serve you and make changes accordingly to reduce their occurrence. Then focus on the steps necessary to move forward and reduce their impact as much as possible.

Along the same lines, it is crucial to demonstrate self-compassion, because self-criticism is stress-inducing. Let go of the perfectionistic demands and unrealistic expectations you have for yourself and negative self-talk. Silence the inner critic and focus on your strengths. Give yourself the type of emotional support you would give a friend in need. Speak to yourself as you would speak to someone you care deeply about or a beloved pet.

Breath at the Belly

Once we have the right mindset in place, then the single most effective and important habit to build for increasing your stress threshold and activating parasympathetic nervous system activity, and thus lower your stress, anxiety, and fear, can be found in your breath. When utilized properly, the breath can stimulate the vagus nerve, which turns on the parasympathetic nervous system. Directly turning on the parasympathetic nervous system turns off the sympathetic nervous system, providing an immediate reduction in stress and its associated symptoms and promoting a heightened sense of calm and relaxation.

First and foremost, we turn our attention to the way we breathe on a day-to-day basis. Your nose is the organ that is designed for breathing, your mouth is to be used for breathing only as a backup plan when there is some kind of obstruction in the nose or a situation when we need to pull oxygen in more quickly, such as a strenuous exercise that leaves us winded.

If we breathe through our mouth, then we activate the upper lung which increases stress and anxiety, but if we breathe through our nose fully and deeply, then we turn on the parasympathetic nervous system because the lower lung is rich with parasympathetic nerve receptors that are activated during this process.

When you breathe through your nose, you should pull from your belly. As even the American Lung Association explains, “Humans are “belly breathers,” and just above your stomach is a major muscle in the respiration process, the diaphragm. Proper breathing starts in the nose and then moves to the stomach as your diaphragm contracts, the belly expands and your lungs fill with air.”

Dr. Andrew Weil explains in his CD, Breathing: The Master Key to Self-Healing, that when the sympathetic nervous system is dominant the breath is fast, short, and shallow, but when the parasympathetic nervous system is activated the breaths are slower, deeper, and longer. Therefore, if we intentionally breathe slower, deeper, and longer, we can turn on the parasympathetic nervous system.

The more often we do so, the more often we put the parasympathetic nervous system in the driver’s seat and calm the sympathetic nervous system. If we do it consistently and repetitively, we can train our breathing to naturally become slower, deeper, and longer on its own, the benefits of which will increase over time.

You want to breathe in through your nose and out through your nose, with your mouth closed. In through your nose, out through your nose. Long, slow, deep, and complete breaths from the belly.

To develop the habit of breathing through your nose at all times, you begin by becoming aware of your breathing as often as possible throughout your day and consciously choosing to breathe through your nose. Every time you catch yourself breathing through your mouth, then switch over to your nose. Eventually, you will begin to breathe through your nose naturally more often.

If you have been a mouth breather, which many people are, it will take time and concerted effort to begin breathing through your nose. It may feel unnatural at first, but with practice, it will become comfortable and preferred. Even when you are an old pro at it and have practiced for decades like me, you may still catch yourself slipping into the old mouth breathing pattern, so it does require ongoing awareness.

Deep Breathing Exercises

In addition to breathing properly on a daily basis, we also want to implement the intentional use of specific deep breathing exercises or techniques consistently.

Deep breathing has been found to increase parasympathetic nervous system activity and Gaba levels in the brain via stimulation of vagal nerves by as much as 27 percent. Gaba is our primary inhibitory neurotransmitter, it is what enables us to relax and slows the brain down. It functions as a natural tranquilizer, helps regulate emotions, reduces the activity of neurons in the brain and the central nervous system, and inhibits the amygdala which is the powerhouse for emotions like anxiety and fear.

Gaba is inhibited when we are under stress. The parasympathetic nervous system turns off the stress response system, so increasing its activity via vagal nerve stimulation allows Gaba to become active again. Increasing Gaba and the activity of the parasympathetic nervous system in whatever healthy ways we can is one of our primary goals in our quest to reduce stress, anxiety, and fear.

Deep breathing increases other neurotransmitters in the brain like endorphins, dopamine, and serotonin, thereby enabling it to boost mood, alleviate pain, and increase pleasure, happiness, and feelings of empowerment. Each of these neurotransmitters plays an important role in modulating stress, fear, and anxiety as well.

Various research shows that deep breathing can significantly lower cortisol, our primary stress hormone. In one study, the consistent use of deep breathing exercises was found to lower it by 50 percent. Lowering cortisol decreases stress, fear, and anxiety.

Other great side-effects from deep breathing include an increase in oxygen supply, boost to immunity, improved detoxification, decreased heart rate and blood pressure, better sleep, more energy, improved digestion and circulation, regulation of appetite, improved focus, attention, and memory, enhanced feelings of well-being, higher levels of inner peace, intuition, insight, and creativity. It generates a better outlook on life, a deeper and more meaningful connection with self, others, and one’s spiritual source, and higher states of consciousness and spiritual awareness.

Key Deep Breathing Principles

There are many different types of deep-breathing techniques, each of which can provide different results. When we strive to reduce stress, anxiety, and fear, we must use a specific type of breathing. If it is not done properly, the breath can produce an effect opposite of what we are trying to achieve. It can stimulate the sympathetic nervous system, instead of the parasympathetic. Here are some basic principles to keep in mind before starting.

Keep your mouth closed and breathe through your nose.

Breathe in through the nose and out through the nose in a slow and controlled manner.

Breathe from the belly. This is known as abdominal breathing, belly breathing, or diaphragmatic breathing. The belly, not the chest, should protrude when you inhale and the belly should recede when you breathe out. Place your hands on your belly; if they rise and fall with each breath, you are breathing correctly.

When you inhale, breathe in slowly through the nose, not the mouth, until the lungs are almost full. Exhale slowly through the nose, not the mouth, until almost all the air is expelled. Each breath in and out should feel comfortable. If you feel uncomfortable, then you are inhaling or exhaling for too long.

Avoid using breaths that are shallow and fast, and avoid holding the breath for too long, both of which actions can stimulate the stress response.

Your breath should flow in and out through your nose in a long, slow, deep, steady, and controlled pattern.

Positioning your eyes in certain ways can also activate the undesired sympathetic nervous system. When practicing with your eyes shut, don’t shut them too tightly. Don’t roll your eyes around, look too far to either side or strain them in any way. Let your eyelids rest comfortably and gently on top of your eyes.

Deep breathing can be done without closing the eyes, but closing the eyes enhances the process. The very act of closing your eyes immediately activates alpha brain waves, which promote instant relaxation. There may be times when you want to practice your breathing exercises when closing the eyes would be impossible, for instance, when you’re driving your car or in a meeting. If breathing with your eyes open, apply the same principles of relaxing the eyes and the eyelids.

Basic Deep Breathing Exercise

Here is a list of steps to help you put the above principles into action. This is one of my favorite techniques.

1. Lie down in a quiet place. If lying down is not possible, then sitting is acceptable, but lying down enhances the activity.
2. Close your eyes if possible. Closing the eyes also enriches the benefits.
3. Keep your mouth closed.
4. Bring your awareness to your belly.
5. Take a long, slow, full, and controlled breath in through your nose, pulling from your belly, and expanding your abdomen as described above.
6. Pause only for a second.
7. Keeping your mouth closed, breathe out through your nose in a long, slow, and controlled manner until the air is expelled comfortably and your belly recedes.
8. When you breathe out, imagine that your breath is flowing out of your body through your fingers and toes like a slow-moving stream, and releasing all your stress, tension, and tightness into the Universe.
9. Pause for a second or two.
10. Repeat.

Remember, each breath should be inhaled and exhaled through the nose, with the mouth closed, and should be deep, complete, long, slow, and controlled.

Start each morning and end every day with a round of deep breathing exercises for 8 to 12 minutes, noting that greater time invested generates deeper and longer-lasting benefits. If you’re having a really bad day, then longer sessions of 15, 20, or 30 minutes can be even more effective. Repeat the exercise for as many minutes as you prefer anytime throughout the day when you feel stressed, anxious, or fearful.

No matter where you are or what you are doing, it is easy to stop and take a couple of minutes to breathe. Each time you breathe in and out constitutes a complete cycle. If you are in a hurry, one simple cycle will provide some relief. However, three cycles are better, and eight or more is optimal.

If you have stress or anxiety that wakes you up in the middle of the night, use the breathing exercise to help you get back to sleep because it stimulates the release of melatonin. As soon as you wake up, begin breathing through your nose with the mouth closed in a long, slow, deep, and controlled manner before your brain can start thinking about anything. Don’t get up, turn on a light, or do anything but breathe. In a few minutes or less, you will be sleeping again.

Overcoming Resistance

When you first start practicing deep-breathing exercises, you may feel a little resistance. If you are experiencing a very high-stress event when you are about to practice, the resistance might be even stronger. If you push yourself a bit to move forward despite feeling resistance, you will very quickly begin to relax, and the resistance will fade.

Ease into the regular practice of deep breathing slowly, with just a minute here and there, and gradually work up to more minutes. Eventually, it will become a habit, and as you begin to experience and appreciate its positive effects, you will become more responsive, which will motivate you to practice more often. Still, a little resistance may reappear now and then. If it does, just kindly acknowledge it, give yourself a little push, and do your practice anyhow. It will dissipate again.

To sustain the benefits of deep breathing, or any relaxation technique, it needs to be practiced daily on an ongoing basis. The more often you practice, the more effective deep breathing becomes, which creates a positive-feedback loop that motivates you to stay committed to the practice. Additionally, with regular practice, you can train your brain to respond to stressful situations more calmly.

Mindfulness-Based Meditation

The next most important habit to place in our foundation for reducing stress, anxiety, and fear can be found in a specific type of meditation known as mindfulness. It should be used hand-in-hand in conjunction with the breath.

This evidence-based technique was brought into the spotlight by Jon Kabat-Zinn and is used widely throughout hospitals and other health care establishments, including prisons and mental health centers to reduce stress, anxiety, depression, and pain. I hold a certificate of completion in MBSR and use it heavily in my own life on a daily basis with great results.

Like the breath, mindfulness-based meditation turns on the parasympathetic nervous system, resulting in an immediate reduction of stress and its associated symptoms. It also increases that all-important Gaba needed for relaxation, as well as serotonin, endorphins, and dopamine, and it reduces cortisol. Mindfulness has been shown to change the structure of the brain.

Mindfulness meditation also stimulates areas of the brain associated with regulating pain, mood, memory, sense of self, empathy, compassion, and introspection.

There are hundreds of definitions for mindfulness, most of which provide us with valuable insights and truthfulness because it can mean different things to different people. In its most basic form, I see mindfulness as bringing your full awareness and presence to whatever you are experiencing in each moment of your life with kindness, compassion, and understanding. Being completely present with and aware of the current moment without judgment or labels. It is our judgment and labels that cause our stress and unhappiness.

An emotion, feeling, thought, or experience is not bad or good, right or wrong. It just is. Focus only on what is happening right now with acceptance, which could mean focusing on your breath, your footsteps, your surroundings, your emotions or thoughts, washing the dishes, making love, listening to music, taking a walk, gardening, baking, eating a meal, drinking a glass of water, or engaging in conversation.

To simplify the concept, I often tell people to think of mindfulness in the following way: approach each situation, experience, and activity as if
you were engaging in a deep and passionate lovemaking session with the love of your life for the first time.

And as Jon Kabat-Zinn explains so superbly in his book Full Catastrophe Living, “when you bring mindfulness to any activity it transforms it into a kind of meditation.”

You can essentially be mindful in every area of your life, and when you are, eventually mindfulness meditation will stop being a practice and become more a way of being and living.

The more often you practice mindfulness, the more effective it becomes, so consistency and repetition are needed here as well. However, mindfulness meditation does not have to be time consuming or difficult. According to Dr. Dan Siegel, associate clinical professor of psychiatry at the UCLA School of Medicine and author of The Mindful Brain, just three minutes of mindfulness meditation per day can be beneficial, and repetition is more important than duration. Repetition strengthens neural connections that will make it easier to achieve the goal and reinforce the benefits.

Although mindfulness meditation originated in Buddhism, the basic principles are free of any religious code and can be practiced within the context of any belief system. You don’t have to become a formal student or study ancient Buddhist secrets. It’s very simple to learn, and you can put it into action and begin experiencing the benefits immediately.

The simplicity of mindfulness and its powerful impact on the sympathetic nervous system helps many people overcome the barriers (feeling antsy, distracted, unable to focus) that often prevent them from committing to a regular meditation routine.

People who use mindfulness regularly report a variety of other benefits, including less pain, more inner peace, self-awareness, empathy, compassion, creativity, intuition, insight, joy, happiness, pleasure, improved memory and cognitive function, a higher level of consciousness, and a richer, more meaningful life. Here is one simple technique to get you started.

Basic Mindfulness-Based Meditation

One of the easiest ways to learn mindfulness-based meditation is with the breath.

1. Stand, sit, or lie down in a quiet space.
2. Close your eyes.
3. With your mouth closed, take in a long, slow, and deep breath
   through the nose and from the belly.
4. Exhale through your nose in a slow and controlled manner.
5. Repeat for several minutes, or as long as you desire.
6. During this process, stay completely focused on nothing but your
   breath and the breathing process. Follow your breath in and out as you pull it from the belly and into the diaphragm and let it flow out through the nose.
7. Let go of all thoughts and think of nothing but your breath and its rhythms.
8. Be present and one with your breath.
9. Listen to the sound of your breath as it is going in and out of your nostrils and feel your belly rising and falling.
10. Experience your breath and all its characteristics in its entirety.

If thoughts intrude, as they will, just acknowledge them and release them without judgment. You have not failed if your mind wanders. This is the nature of the brain and your mind is a product of your brain. A brain is a complex machine that loves computing and it can not do its job if it must remain in the present moment. We must consistently and gently bring the mind back to the present, which in this situation is achieved by following the breath. Each time you bring your awareness back to the present, which in this scenario is the breath, it is a success.

As you can see, in this meditation we are combining mindfulness-based meditation with a deep-breathing exercise, so we can accomplish both tasks at once and reap the benefits of each simultaneously. Thereby we magnify the benefits of both.

However, once the basic principle is mastered, we can use many other focal points or anchors for our mindfulness-based meditation instead of the breath, including silence, music, walking, the sound of rain or crickets, a tree, the sky, a particular body part or the entire body, pain, the sun or wind against your skin, your footsteps while walking, dance, behind the eyes, a mantra, your self, presence, or inner being.

Mindfulness with Anxiety, Stress, or Fear as the Focal Point

We can even use our anxiety, fear, and stress itself as the focal point of our meditation in the following manner:

1. Stand, sit, or lie down in a quiet space.
2. Close your eyes.
3. With your mouth closed, take in a long, slow, and deep breath through the nose and from the belly as you learned above.
4. Exhale through your nose in a slow and controlled manner.
5. Go inward and with your mind’s eye locate the feeling of stress, anxiety, or fear.
6. Allow it to exist in its entirety.
7. Feel it and all its sensations.
8. Experience it just as it is, completely.
9. Don’t judge it or resist it.
10. Embrace it.
11. Become one with it and stay present with it.
12. Continue to breathe in through the nose and out through the nose in a long, slow, and deep manner.
13. Identify where in your body you experience the physical sensations of the stress, anxiety, or fear. Is it a tightness in the center of your chest, knots or fluttering in your gut or solar plexus, heaviness in your heart, restlessness in the legs? Wherever and whatever it is, zero in on it and allow it to exist. Don’t resist it. Explore it. Feel it. Embrace it fully.
14. Place your right hand over your belly and your left hand over the area where you are experiencing the emotion physically.
15. Take another deep breath in through the nose and out through the nose with the mouth closed and when you breathe out, imagine your breath is flowing into and out of the area in your body where you are experiencing the emotion physically. Repeat several times.

When you fully accept and experience the feeling (be it stress, anxiety, fear, or what have you) it will begin to dissipate. Once you have achieved a level of comfort that is desirable then go about your day.

Practice Every Day

Although I have stated that benefits can be derived with as little as three minutes of mindfulness meditation, greater relaxation and other benefits can be achieved with sessions of ten, twenty, and thirty minutes, with longer periods inciting greater rewards. You can mix it up throughout the day by doing three minutes here and there when you are busy but try also to fit in a longer session of twenty to thirty minutes daily, or at least on most days of the week.

For best results, mindfulness should be practiced every day. Ideally, numerous times throughout the day. Start each morning with 20 to 30 minutes of a formal meditation to set the tone for the day and then use mini-meditations throughout the day for maintenance.

I have been an avid meditator for many years, and I have tried numerous different types of meditation throughout my life and I have found mindfulness-based meditation to be a cut above the rest for reducing stress, anxiety, and fear. If you would like to get into it deeper, you can take a class and learn it for free with a certified MBSR instructor as taught by Jon-Kabat Zinn at the University of Massachusetts.

Mindfulness-Based Yoga

Any form of yoga can be beneficial but I feel mindfulness-based yoga is superior in our quest to reduce stress, anxiety, and fear. When done correctly, it combines deep breathing, mindfulness-based meditation, and hatha yoga postures, thereby enabling us to get the best that each of these techniques offers simultaneously and tripling our benefits.

Like deep breathing and mindfulness, yoga increases our sought after parasympathetic nervous system activity and Gaba levels via vagal nerve stimulation, as well as serotonin, dopamine, and endorphins, and it lowers our cortisol levels. In a study by researchers at Boston University School of Medicine (BUSM) and McLean Hospital, they found that yoga increased Gaba in the brain by 27 percent.

Practice mindfulness-based yoga at least twice a week. More if you have the time or desire. Here are two videos that you can use to start reaping these benefits today: this first one is mild and gentle and can even be practiced on your bed or a chair, while this second one is a little more strenuous.

Building on the Foundation

These two habits, deep breathing and mindfulness, are so deeply ingrained into my life that they are part of who I am. I cannot imagine my life without them. Practicing them requires little effort and happens automatically and with pleasure. I live each moment of my day being mindful and breathing properly and they are the first place I turn for comfort and support during challenging times. I have been doing this for decades, so it will take you time to arrive at this place, but it should be your goal.

Then we strengthen our foundation and build a complete fortress to protect us from stress, anxiety, and fear by developing other lifestyle habits that will increase our stress threshold and parasympathetic nervous system activity. There is no space or time now to discuss all these issues in detail as I could write volumes on each one, but I have found that it is equally important to eat a healthy whole foods diet (preferably a low-carb Paleo diet), stay physically active, get adequate sleep, reduce exposure to environmental toxins, and commune with nature on a regular basis, as they all have a profound impact on the brain and the stress response system. When these habits are adopted, they make it easier to achieve the benefits that the breath and mindfulness offer and enhance their power.

Additionally, we may utilize other methods, strategies, and techniques that are well documented to relieve stress, anxiety, and fear, like psychotherapy, music, dance, singing, visualization, massage, smiling, hugging, etc. as called for depending on the situation in our lives or level of stress that is present.

The key is to build a life that just naturally contains the elements on a day-to-day basis that keep stress, anxiety, and fear at bay. We want our habits to become part of our values and identity, not just a practice that we implement.

This doesn’t mean we won’t be affected if we are confronted with a crisis or a high-stress situation, we will due to the nature of the beast, but we are better equipped to deal with it and recover more quickly. During times of high stress, we will throw as many things as we possibly can at the situation to put out the flames, but we use our foundation to manage daily levels and prevent bigger fires from occurring.

And the greatest aspect of both your breath and mindfulness is that you can reap all their benefits and they cost you absolutely nothing. They require no prescription, supplements, equipment, or a trip to the doctor’s office or health food store, and they can be practiced anywhere, anytime, by anybody. They both can enhance health on the emotional, psychological, cognitive, physical, and spiritual levels.

But remember, the key is consistency and repetition.