Cultivating Courage and Self Worth
What I hope my kids learn from Simone Biles
Simone Biles has been so good, so dominant, for so long, that I can forgive people for thinking she’s invincible and a lock to win any competition that she’s in.
However, the events of the past few days have shown that even the seemingly super human, the GOATs, are human.
I won’t pretend to be an expert in gymnastics. Like most Americans, I watch the Olympics every four years, enjoy watching the gymnastics during that period, and then don’t pay much attention until the next Olympics. To say I was shocked when I saw that Simone Biles withdrew from the team competition due to her mental health would be an accurate statement. However, I wasn’t shocked because she “let down her team” or because she “made a selfish decision”,
I was shocked because it takes so much courage to make that decision, both for yourself and for your teammates, on one of the world’s biggest stages.
While many have recognized the difficulty of Simone’s decision and shown unwavering support for her on social media, countless others have unfortunately reacted with judgment, hostility, and hate. At best, these reactions show that while our country has made great strides in normalizing the discussion around mental health, there is still a long way to go. Others have written about this topic far better than I ever could, so I’ll instead focus on Simone’s act of withdrawing, the traits she displayed as a role model for so many, and what I hope my kids will take away from her actions.
Merriam-Webster defines courage as:
Mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty
Many have called Simone a coward for bowing out of the team competition due to her mental health (something I’d argue would not have even been a talking point had she suffered a physical injury such as a sprained ankle).
Simone being a coward could not be further from the truth. First of all, it would have been very easy for her to continue to compete, even though she knew she would be a detriment to the team (evidenced by the fact that she failed badly on a vault that many experts said she could do in her sleep).
She also could have feigned a physical injury, something that would have been a much more socially acceptable reason (in the US at least) for her to withdraw from the competition. But she didn’t do either of these things. Instead, she admitted that she wasn’t in the right headspace and was open and honest about how she was struggling mentally coming into the games and that it all had just become too much for her to continue.
The amount of courage it took for her, the greatest gymnast of all time, undisputed all-around favorite, and key to the US team’s Gold medal hopes to make this decision and be honest about the factors driving it is monumental.
She knew that many people would not understand and that she’d be letting down so many that look up to her. It would have been far easier to fake a physical injury and move on. Instead, she was honest about a problem that affects so many high performers, athletes and non-athletes alike. This honesty will hopefully encourage more open dialogue around mental health in the future.
I sincerely hope that my children have the courage to be open and honest with themselves about their mental health.
The APA Dictionary of Psychology defines Self Worth as:
An individual’s evaluation of himself or herself as a valuable, capable human being deserving of respect and consideration. Positive feelings of self-worth tend to be associated with a high degree of self-acceptance and self-esteem
Biles drew attention for having a goat sewn into one of her competition outfits (GOAT stands for Great of All Time). When asked about it, she said:
I want kids to learn that, yes, it’s okay to acknowledge that you’re good or even great at something
This action, even though it could be perceived as conceited by some, speaks to Simone’s self-worth. She’s the best there has ever been at her sport, and it’s frankly not even close. The fact that she can not only acknowledge and embrace that fact but also celebrate it and use it as a platform to teach children to not be afraid to celebrate what they’re good at, speaks to the kind of person she is.
Her self-worth was further displayed when she decided to back out of both the team and individual all-around competitions because she knew it was what was best for both her personally and her team. Someone lacking self-worth or maybe even suffering from imposter syndrome, would not have been able to back out of those events because they likely would have wanted to cement their legacy.
Simone has shown that she knows she’s the greatest there’s ever been and that, sometimes, there are more important things than winning and adding to your medal count.
She’ll always have her accomplishments, but in the long term, having her mental health is far more important than adding more medals to what is already the best resume we’ve ever seen, and likely will ever see, for a gymnast.
So often in life, we are driven to do things to prove ourselves to others. Simone has nothing to prove.
I hope that my children if faced with a similar decision, will have the self-worth required to do what is best for them, even if it means not living up to unrealistic external expectations.
So, while I, like so many Americans, was disappointed to hear of Simone’s withdrawals from the Olympic competitions, I greatly respect her and her decision to take care of her mental health and appreciate the message that sends for children everywhere.
I hope that one day in the future, I’ll be firmly in the majority, even if that may not be the case today.
