Dealing With the Pain of My Son’s Suicide
How being sober is helping me through
By rights I shouldn’t be writing this, no parent should ever have to go through what my husband and I are experiencing. I remember the village mayor repeating that over and over when he stood in our living room and delivered the devastating news that Joshua, our eldest son had taken his own life. He was 21.
I’ve written this article over and over in my head a thousand times. I’ve formed sentences while making hot chocolate, listening to the hum of the washing machine, and while on my daily walks. Everyday normal things, which are the same yet not the same at all.
I have wondered how to begin, how to introduce the topic without triggering or causing pain to you the reader, but let’s face it this is difficult and painful and it can’t be sugar-coated, glossed over or hidden from — believe me, I have tried.
So it was that on March 16th, 2023, our world fell apart and my heart crumbled into a thousand pieces. And now I am here telling you about it so that perhaps in the sharing of words, of seeing them here and not just as scribbles in my journal can I begin to find something, some way of moving forward through this because while it may seem far too soon to be writing anything publicly, I also feel that I need to.
