Discarded by a Narcissist
When primary supply is no longer useful
To discard is to get rid of something that is useless and unwanted. In the context of a relationship, it is the ultimate form of degradation. A break-up with a malignant narcissist is characterized as a discard, because like a piece of unwanted garbage the victim of narcissistic abuse has lost their value, and the narcissist with absolutely no compunction will simply ditch the relationship like expendable trash. It’s at this point the horrifying truth that the victim has denied, minimized, rationalized or bargained with, reveals itself with full devastating force.
Indeed, at the discard stage of the relationship any illusions that one mattered in any real significant way beyond being a source of sadistic gratification and supply, are shattered.
This traumatic finale with a narcissist is inevitable.
As a psychotherapist who specializes in treating complex trauma and narcissistic abuse syndrome I often encounter men and women struggling to make sense out of what is referred to as the degrade and discard.
The one discarded is challenged to accept that they were nothing more than supply. Supply, a term coined in 1938 by psychoanalyst Otto Fenichel is descriptive of the narcissistic objectification of a designated target. As primary…
