Do Introverts Age Better?
The only way to succeed as a quiet person.
“You are really introverted, aren’t you?”, my geography teacher asked me.
Now, to make it clear, I didn’t have a problem with her question (I’ve heard this question quite a lot, actually).
Her pitiful look on her face wasn’t the problem either (I’ve gotten this look quite often, actually).
I wasn’t even surprised that she pronounced her question in a way that made me believe that introversion was some kind of deficiency.
The problem was that I believed her.
Extroverts = Better Humans?
I hold no grudge against my geography teacher. In fact, I was on her side. I’ve admired extroverts my whole life.
But can you blame me?
In our attention-seeking world, extroverted people seem like superheroes.
The stage is theirs. They’re the popular ones. They make things happen. They’re the heart of every party. And when it counts, they get the job (and the girl).
I always knew the spotlight wasn’t meant for me.
As an introvert, I was supposed to be the extrovert’s psychologist. Whenever my extroverted friends were in need of emotional support, I was happy to help.
I was Yoda to Luke Skywalker. I felt validated by helping extroverts conquer the world. Needless to say, I missed out on my own life.
The Gentle Power Of Introverts
“I lived in that solitude which is painful in youth, but delicious in maturity.“ — Albert Einstein
Even at a young age, introverts are fully aware that they can’t compete with extroverts face to face. We lack wittiness to impose our will on other people. Above all, even the thought of conflict makes us cringe.
Introverts are forced to find alternate ways to get what they want. They have to accept their limits early on in life.
The older I got, the more I accepted this fact — and it set me free. I stopped putting pressure on myself. I learned to harness the power of solitude. I started to cherish the infinite abundance of my inner world.
Introverts are forced to play the long game. We have a smaller network, less publicity, and are generally more skeptical of new experiences and people.
We’re forced to do some serious soul-searching early on in life. We must quickly find out what truly sets us apart, otherwise, we get lost in this noisy world.
It’s no coincidence that tech billionaires like Elon Musk, Zuckerberg, Bill Gates are introverts. You can’t invent groundbreaking technology when you’re socializing all the time.
The combination of a long-term strategy, healthy habits, and emotional peace can be a powerful combination.
The Extrovert’s Dilemma
“The first half of life is devoted to forming a healthy ego, the second half is going inward and letting go of it.”
― Carl Jung
As you get older, things get taken away from you. You lose friends, your kids leave the house. You’ve traveled the world, and you’ve eaten every kind of fruit. You’ve seen and done it all.
The mundane world loses excitement. So automatically, you’ll be forced to face your inner world.
For an introvert, this is heaven. We’ve done it our whole lives. Getting lost in infinite solitude is our superpower.
For extroverts, however, solitude is more problematic. Above all, extroverts get energized by the outer world. And when their constant stream of new experiences stops, they quickly get lonely.
To avoid that situation, they keep chasing new experiences — possibly to their own detriment. They’re at risk of getting sucked into an unhealthy loop of external stimulation:
- They meet new people, even when these people might be toxic.
- They keep going out, even when it’s bad for their health.
- They get lost in status games, even when they lose themselves in the process.
As an introvert, getting called “boring” is a day-to-day scenario. We’re not striving to be extremely popular because we’ve never experienced that addictive feeling in the first place.
Extroverts, on the other side, have been popular since early childhood. And when they lose that popularity, it affects them more.
We summarize: introverts must learn to use their strengths. Extroverts must become ok with solitude.
Bottom Line
I’m still in awe of extroverts.
Their energy is infectious. It seems as if they were designed to conquer the world.
But introverts are catching up — and the internet is accelerating this trend. The lockdowns have proven that introverts are more resilient than they appear to be.
Both personalities have their pros and cons. And when they support each other, this world will be a better place.
I just wished my geography teacher knew this too.
