Don’t Let Your Diagnosis Define You
Because It Doesn’t
When I was diagnosed with Bipolar II, I was extremely relieved. It felt like I had finally come closer to understanding what was going on with me. My moods made sense to me and it helped me see myself with a clearer lens.
Initially, the transition was difficult as I became more mindful of my emotions. I noticed and felt every mood swing as they came and went. Keeping track of them quickly drove me crazy. I couldn’t tell what was a normal response to a situation, what was depression, what was mania, and what was me anymore. Because the diagnosis was so new, it’s all I could see in every situation. It was as if I could only see my life through bipolar lenses.
Unwittingly, I let it define me instead of defining my mental state. Everything I did wasn’t because I was doing it; bipolar II was the reason. That newfound motivation? Hypomanic episode. Feeling sad for no reason? Depressive episode. Not being able to focus? Bipolar. Making and completing a to-do list? Yup, hypomanic episode.
Eventually, I reached a point where I couldn’t tell what was me and what was out of my control. One night after journaling in my mood log, I noticed I had been keeping too close an eye on this new diagnosis to the point where it started to consume me. I took a moment to breathe and came to the…
