Fast Track to Coping
A fundamental way to deal with being overloaded
Dealing with stress was wearisome. Parts of the world still remained lockdown due to the pandemic. My country was in turmoil, cities set ablaze by angry rioters. My own family was at war, strife tearing them apart. People were in pain. I saw the ugliness. If I let it in too much, the darkness would consume me into a downward spiral.
It was difficult not getting sucked into the hatred, the sadness, the fear. I felt it all so intensely. For a highly sensitive person (HSP) with an invisible illness, the struggle was real. At a high concentration, it was almost unbearable.
A few years ago, a friend told me about an annual fast she did during the month of December. Her definition of fasting wasn’t the typical abstinence from food. Over the holiday season, she chose to refrain from using social media — no Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc. She even excluded newspaper or television news in her ‘media fast’.
“How can you completely disconnect like that?” I asked.
She assured me, she wasn’t entirely unaware of what was going on. She enlisted a friend to tell her the really important stuff, someone that had her back on local and national news, someone that understood how her mind worked, and knew her sensitivities. I thought this quite interesting and decided to give it a try.
Remarkably, it was absolutely wonderful. Granted, it wasn’t easy at first. In the beginning, I frequently forgot and would catch myself checking my feed. Even so, when I opened my phone to view my calendar, I was engulfed by temptation. The solution? I ‘hid’ my apps from myself. Not delete. I simply logged out or made them harder to access on my phone.
Media fasting was a peaceful way to calm my mind. But it didn’t come without facing real truths. Going to work, raising children, paying bills, all my responsibilities were still present. There was no escaping the day-in, day-out hubbub. Without social media’s distraction, I functioned on a whole nother level.
One of the first things that happened was disconnection. Everyone I knew seemed to suddenly disappear. Not truly, but what I soon realized was how much I overused media to connect me to my community, peers, friends, and family. It was the sole form of communication utilized by almost everyone I knew. So, I posted…
“I am fasting from social media. Please connect with me by text message, Messenger, WhatsApp, email or call me. I’d love to hear from you.”
This was a true test. Would anyone bother? They did. Not a lot. I will not lie. It felt a bit lonely. However, each message I did receive felt so much more sincere. I also realized… hey, this thing works two ways. It forced me to reach out as well. Checking in with people, I used snail mail and ‘land’ line communication. I learned the true value of quality over quantity.
Another great revelation was time. It was downright scary at first not knowing what to do with myself when there were empty gaps and blank spaces that I usually filled by scrolling and thumb typing. I had to rediscover what I liked and what was important to me. Some of which consisted of reading a good paperback novel, baking cookies, and Sudoku. On New Year’s Day, I ended the fast.
“Well, that wasn’t so bad”
In October of 2019, I decided to fast a little early. Again, I sent out my fasting post and turned away from electronic garble. I enjoyed the fast so much, I kept right on going through the new year. You might be thinking, “this woman is crazy. I don’t have that much willpower. This ‘media fasting’ shit is not for me.” I hear you.
Enter Covid-19
My trusted fasting advisor said to me, “You might want to read this. There’s a virus in China.”
By the end of February, I was sucked into the ‘need to know every little detail’ of the pandemic. I was so afraid of missing something vital. What if I got sick or got someone else sick? What if I failed to catch an article that I could have shared with friends and spared them from suffering? Take acetaminophen, not ibuprofen. Leave your mail sit twenty-four hours before opening. If you have type A blood you may be more vulnerable. Not only was the list long, but it also changed daily.
I needed to know. Now! I was back in the realm of constantly checking my phone. Afraid to miss a hint of explanation or detailed instruction, I was quickly drawn into the vacuum bag of coronavirus crud. What first appeared as universal outreach around the globe, turned into trash mouthing, blaming, and too much politics for my taste.
Social media had its advantages and disadvantages. On one hand, I was included in the lives of friends and family residing in other states and countries. I could see photos of loved ones. There were recipes, positive messages, and great advice posted daily. Let’s face it, Facebook is fun. I told myself, as long as it didn’t deplete my sense of reality, the social connection online wasn’t a horrible thing.
Still, I got lost in unnecessary garbage. By the end of May, I had a realization. When it came to my mental well-being, it was essential I break from the constant unfiltered input to my brain. I was panicking, having nightmares and overall not coping. Resisting the urge to check social media and lure to know was a bigger challenge than ever before. Standing up to the media seduction, I slid around like a greased pig.
I had to do something differently. I started with mini-fasting, checking only twice a day, limiting the time. I tried morning fasting, not allowing myself online until lunch. That wasn’t too bad, but still not ideal. Balancing a healthy dose of media took a bit more restraint and determination when forced to stay-at-home.
What did help was twenty-four hours on, twenty-four off. At least I was getting a long enough break to feel the difference. Gradually, I worked up to two days off and built up to a week.
By nature, I am a very disciplined person. Yet, I’m human. I didn’t beat myself up over setbacks and failed attempts to obtain peace. I made reasonable exceptions. If I needed a recipe, I would look it up on Pinterest and try not to get hooked for too long. Pick one and cook it. If a friend asked if I saw the birth announcement of a colleague, I freed myself from the fast to enjoy the happy moment, then closed the site back down. Fasting wasn’t about torturing myself. It was about unplugging in order to reconnect.
I tried embroidery for the first time and found out I enjoyed it more than Pinterest pinning. I was doing instead of observing. And it felt good, really good. With the weather improving and governmental restrictions lifting, I turned to nature for comfort. Amazingly, gratitude revealed itself more readily when I wasn’t staring at moving pixels.
As a highly sensitive person, media fasting also revealed judgment. I suddenly became very self-conscious. Everyone else seemed to handle social platforms just fine. Why was I so overwhelmed by what I was seeing and hearing? Was I weak? Not being ‘out there’ on the grid, would they think I didn’t care about people or injustice? Yet, I couldn’t stomach the negativity. My yearn for tranquility overrode whether or not people understood my disappearance or if they perceived me as frail.
I wasn’t living in a bubble or in denial of the evils of the world. I was well aware of the ugliness. Accepting my sensitive needs freed me to choose what I needed and what was best for my health. Whether fasting for one day or a month at a time, I didn’t have to permanently say good-bye forever. It was a matter of choice.
By deciding where to place my focus, I was in control. Staying on track meant deliberately abstaining from the instant gratification of social media for a set amount of time. Not recklessly indulging on a source that included six of one and a half dozen of the other, took strength and courage. Coping meant choosing fundamental and substantial beauty the fast way.
