Favored Sons of Maternal Narcissists
Their hardships and their options
Treating two brothers raised by a maternal narcissist has heightened my awareness of how insidiously dangerous this sort of disordered narcissist is and how deeply damaging they are to their children. It has called to my attention how the life trajectories of these men were largely determined by their familial roles as golden sons and narcissistic extensions. Recurrent themes of emasculation, incestuous dynamics, and the blight of intimacy disorders permeate our sessions. Moreover, they are plagued by complex trauma, addictions and mood disorders.
Although both brothers tried to seek respite, much like the ‘lost child,’ by staying under the radar, feigning blind obedience and disappearing into art and music, invasive exploitive demands interspersed with coercive control and threats kept them locked into the functional personas required by their malignant mother. Essentially, the onslaught of manipulation tactics coupled with the risk of violent assault, character assassination, prolonged stonewalling, and punitive withholding exacted compliance.
Unlike their homeless, drug-addicted brother who was the designated scapegoat, they have been able to cobble together lives and careers that suggest ‘normalcy.’ Tragically, the designated ‘whipping boy’ did not yield that attainment…
