Give yourself some freedom.
Often times when I do a mistake, immediately something goes off in my mind and for the next two or three days all my thoughts are about thinking how stupid and worthless I am.
This kind of negative self-talk stopped me from doing anything.
So much so to the point that I was hesitant even to get up and go to washroom, just because we had a lunch break half hour back and people might think I have a loose bladder or something even worse.
Truth is nobody is sitting in the corner of my office room with a book and pen in hand noting down all my doings. Honestly nobody even cares. Half of my colleagues probably might not know I even exist.
You know what the hard part is?
The hard part is knowing that no body cares about such things. Knowing very well that nobody will criticize me or shun me if I do something wrong. That nobody is going to think I’m a worthless piece of crap bag when I said I don’t know something and still constantly putting myself down because I made a minor mistake.
I expect to be perfect. I expect to look good always. I expect me to be this perfect, all-knowing and uber confident personality who oozes positivity.
And the truth is. I am not. And you know what nobody is.
Yet I constantly fail to accept this truth. It’s like an old scripture in the corner of the room with dust all over it. Once in a while I take it and brush the dust off but most of the time it lays in the corner gathering dust. I know it’s there, but I just can’t bring myself to accept it.
And I know I’m not alone in this. I know I’m not the only one who’s feeling this horrible feeling of not able to get away from our negative thoughts.
We end up being so hard on ourselves, that we won’t even give ourselves enough room to be our true self.
We curse and scold our own inner self for doing something wrong.
We don’t give ourselves to explore and learn from our mistakes. Hell, we are so afraid of doing something wrong we won’t even try doing anything in the first place. To be honest it’s a miserable place to be in.
So the next time you sense those negative feeling coming in take a deep breath and assure yourself that it’s not the end of the world. Assure yourself that nobody is keeping a record of all our embarrassing moments.
Give yourself the freedom to make mistakes
Give yourself the chance to learn from the mistakes.
Give yourself the positivity that you long for.
Give yourself that little pat on the back for your accomplishments. No matter how little they are.
Give yourself that love you constantly crave for.
And during those Long Nights when the embarrassing moments from your 8th grade hits you just remember what a random person on the internet said, “Fuck it and move on.”
