Grades shouldn’t define your worth
Where does our value as humans originate from? Does our work ethic, achievements, and relationships factor into our worth? These questions often run through my mind as I try to determine my value as an individual.
Throughout my high school and college years, I have hinged my self-worth and confidence on my grades and what I can achieve. I spent countless hours writing essays, studying for exams and reading. I participate, go to office hours, build relationships with my professors and try to stand out from my peers. However, sometimes the hard work does not amount to the outcome I want, and that is completely disheartening.
Whenever I perform at a level that is subpar to my standards, I begin to question everything about myself. It is hard to feel confident and content when I cannot even meet the expectations I set. If I produced what I felt was my best work and did not achieve the highest grades, then my best must not be very good.
Then, I step back and think about the next layer. If I am disappointed, then my professors must be even more disappointed. If I have these expectations for myself, then they must have even higher standards that I am not meeting.
I was sitting in my favorite professor’s office when he told me that I always did very well in his classes. I could not understand how he was saying this when I was getting a B in his class. He reminded me that I should not place my value as a person in my grades, but if I do not base my value in education where do I get my value from? My entire life has been going to school and trying to achieve the highest GPA possible to be the most prepared for the future.
Even if I place my value in some other area of life, such as being a good friend, I will still have expectations of what that means to me. To be a good friend, I expect myself to be caring and compassionate. What happens when I miss the mark? I am left with the same feeling of being defeated.
In order to feel valuable, I need to realize that I am measuring all of my actions on a subjective scale and redefine my expectations.
