Hey Depression and Anxiety!
Listen, I remember both of you coming into my life in 2015, I wasn’t sure why you suddenly came and wreak havoc in my life. But you came anyway, without prior notice (thank you very much).
Now, that we’re closer than ever, (yes we’re very close you sleep with me. Very unromantic by the way!) I am setting up very strict rules that the both of you must adhere to. I have listed them down below.
- Don’t ruin my morning. Stop making me feel bad when I wake up. Dude, I haven’t even had my coffee. Cut me some slack.
- Yup I made some very questionable decisions in the past, but you don’t have to constantly remind me about it. No one is perfect, come on! (Not even Kafka who I adore so much).
- That hollowness thing that you make me feel everyday is getting old. Stop it at once.
- Tears — I’m running out of tears and reasons to cry about. Let me create more reasons and then come back when there’s a valid reason to cry. I hope you’re okay with that.
- Don’t play with my brain— that’s the major organ I use for my livelihood. Don’t cloud my memory and do not bother me when I need to concentrate on something. Would you pay the bills for me? I don’t think so. Let me work.
- The bed is for resting and sleeping, not for crying and definitely not a cage. Let me leave my bed and let me do things that I love.
- Food — I love eating, don’t curb my appetite. I’m getting thin you fool (and don’t tell me I’m getting fat cause we both know that I am not.)
- This is the biggest one. I love my family, so don’t make them feel bad when you’re present. RESPECT my relationship with them. Stop making me appear crazy or cranky in front of them.
- Okay, so once in a while I have to make life changing decisions, don’t tell me what to do and how to live my life.
- Dude, you make me worry a lot. Yes, I have turned off the stove and replied to that important email.
- You don’t have to make me feel irritable all the time. There are things that are out of my control, you don’t need to make me feel bad about those. I can’t do anything about them. So, if something upsets you, keep it to yourself.
- You’re very pessimistic. You don’t have the obligation to break down all the possible consequences of each decisions I make. Okay, I need to weigh the possible outcomes of my decisions, but let me decide! Don’t make me fear what I don’t know yet, we’ll both figure it out eventually. Que Sera, Sera.
- I know rejection is your biggest problem, but I can’t please everyone. That’s a fact. Stop making me live in a bubble. So what if they didn’t like me? It’s them not me, their impressions were based on the information readily available to them at that time, not because they know me very well. If they knew me well, they’d join my tribe.
Both of you, I have owned you. I didn’t expect you to come nor want you in my life, but you’re here now. There are times, when I ask myself what went wrong and why the both of you had to come into my life, I can only speculate.
I don’t have plans to go to the nearest church and have a priest exorcise the both of you (that role belongs to my psychiatrist), but please let me live my life. It’s mine, you’re just small parts of it, let me play the lead role. I only live once, I have to make it worthwhile.
Hi! If you have reached this far, I would like to thank you for reading. I’m trying to improve and turn my life around and I hope you can accompany me throughout my journey. If you enjoyed what you have just read, please click on the “heart” button it would mean the world to me. Stay Awesome!