How I am Dealing with My Mom Guilt From Past Drinking
It is almost two years since I had my last drink. At the time, I didn’t realize it would be, but that random day at the end of March 2018 finally led me to be able to start living my life the way I had been (drunk) dreaming of for so long.
Most of all, I am so grateful to be the mom I always wanted to be and knew I could be. I am a sober mom and extremely proud of this. Why then, do I still get sudden, overwhelming, moments where I feel extreme pain and regret about my past? The answer is the mom guilt from my past drinking.
Just the other day, the whole family were sitting in the living room together having a cuppa. It was calm, peaceful and just lovely. My eldest was actually sitting next to me and if you have teenagers you’ll know what a rarity that is! My youngest was quietly doing homework and I just thought, ‘this is it!’ These precious moments are what it is all about.
Almost immediately though, a wave of guilt and regret washed over me which had me almost sobbing in pain, I escaped to the loo for some serious deep breathing. Things are good, my kids are happy, I am happy but I couldn’t shake the darkness that was filling my soul.
The thing is, when I was drinking, I was trying to be somebody I am not, it is only now that I understand this. I thought I wanted to be the…
