How I Am Overcoming Toxic Shame

The four steps that have helped me out the most.

Shae Jackson
Invisible Illness
Published in
5 min readSep 7, 2020

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Photo by Caleb Woods on Unsplash

“You wanted someone to understand without your having to tell them, but you didn’t really believe anyone could. You had to learn to keep your feelings to yourself, perhaps not even acknowledging them yourself.”
-Adult Children of Alcoholics, Janet Geringer Woititz

I do not feel like your average 34-year-old, mom of three, small town living, homeschooling woman.

I might seem average. My husband and I are total nerds. We love Star Wars and Lord of the Rings. I play the guitar. I binge watch True Crime shows on Netflix. I love sports. We co-op a lot of video games. We have a dog. But there has always been this gnawing feeling that I am somehow an outsider. Someone who isn’t worthy to expend air. I have felt this way for as long as I can remember.

These feelings have come, in large part, because I am an adult child of an alcoholic (ACOA).

As such, I have dealt with this shame for most of my life. Crippling shame that has plagued me to my core. This shame has caused a lot of ongoing problems. Problems with my relationships, not only with…

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Shae Jackson
Invisible Illness

Wife, mom, artist, writer. Jack of all trades, but master to none. I know I could be someone if given the chance. I am here to learn and grow, will you join me?