How My Perception Changed On What It Means to Be Disabled

From avoidance to acceptance

I was sitting at the front desk, practically shaking in fear…of the phone.

“Please don’t ring. Please don’t ring,” I told myself repeatedly.

I’m normally not afraid of inanimate objects, but for as long as I can remember, I was scared of using the phone. I avoided making and answering phone calls. If anyone asked, I used every excuse in the book.

Sorry, I didn’t hear the phone ring.

Sorry, I was in a place with bad reception.

Sorry, my phone grew arms and legs, and tried to attack me.

For people who live with disabilities — whether it is a communication disability such as stuttering or mental health struggles such as social anxiety — the fear of the phone (phonaphobia? telephobia?) can be a reality. In my case, I stutter and I have social anxiety (among other disabilities). Not everyone who stutters has social anxiety and vice-versa. But this nasty combination only intensifies my fear of using the phone.

In this case, it was August of 2009 and it was one of my first summer internships at a non-profit organization. I was eager and excited. The primary receptionist was on vacation and the interns had to fill in for her…