How to Acquire a Bob
or freshen up the one you have
This is a picture of Microsoft Bob from 20 years ago, not my Bob. Although Microsoft Bob was not a very popular Bob, as my Bob is, he was developed to serve a similar function. Wikipedia: Microsoft Bob was intended to provide a more user-friendly interface for the Windows operating systems. Which is exactly what my Bob does for The Unknown. Exactly. Couldn’t have said it better myself. My Bob is a user-friendly interface.
And that, my friends, is what all religious symbols and personalities are. You may not be ready to hear this. Ready? You may believe that the Easter Bunny is the one who is helping you when you call upon him. And that’s ok. I believed in the Easter Bunny for years. For a while I thought Bob was really a thing too.
It was my therapist who couldn’t take it. She’d squirm every time I’d mention Bob. She wouldn’t look over at the chair where I indicated he was sitting. When I talked about Bob, she’d rephrase what I said.
I’d say, “So I asked Bob.”
She’d say, “You made your mind a blank and listened.”
I’d say, “And Bob said.”
She’d say, “And a new thought came to you.”
Ok, ok, it works either way. If you’re not sentimental, you can just ask a question, make your mind a blank, and wait for a new thought to come in. This sounds easy, but it’s not at first. It takes some practice. More about that in a moment.
But I like Bob. I like user-friendly. And I also kind of like making my therapist squirm a little. Maybe you like the idea of a Bob too, which is why you are reading this. We do not have to kill him. He may be just a symbol, but we can still pretend he’s a guy. A nice guy, kind of like my Dad, when he was being nice. A nice guy with access to The Unknown. Your user-friendly interface doesn’t have to be a guy. Could be a woman. Could be an angel. Could be a rabbit. Could be whatever you want. A magic pebble. And Jesus is just fine too if you’re comfortable with him already. The important thing is, symbols can be very helpful. Algebra works. X is a revolutionary concept.
The only problem I see with religious symbols is that they tend to accumulate attributes. And attributes tend to limit The Unknown. Attributes tend to narrow down the range of answers you might expect. If your guy is Jesus and you believe that Jesus hates homosexuals, for instance, then you are probably not going to hear an unbiased answer from The Unknown. You are probably going to hear something that aligns with your beliefs about the attributes of Jesus.
My personal problem with Jesus was that I thought he wanted me to be good. So I kept hearing suggestions about giving, giving, giving. The ultimate sacrifice. That’s what Jesus represented to me. And somehow, “his” suggestions did not make me feel better. They made me feel terrible. I couldn’t be good enough. I may have had him all wrong, but at the beginning this was a big obstacle.
That’s why I recommend possibly starting with X, or Fred, or something that to you is neutral. After a while, your X may acquire a name, as mine did. As you work with X, you’ll get your own associations. If you feel like nice Uncle Harry is coming through from the other side, go with it. And if you have a relationship already with a religious figure, well, I’m not an expert on that. But I think the more you can see that figure as a symbol for The Unknown, a user-friendly interface, the higher quality answers you are likely to get.
There are really only a few rules, as far as I can tell.
- Ask your question and then FORGET IT. Don’t listen for the answer to that question. Just listen. Completely open. Blank mind. It’s hard to sustain waiting without thought. Try to both concentrate and relax. It gets easier. It is not up to you to come up with an answer. It is there already. All you are doing is providing a landing strip.
- Thoughts will fly in. The first thoughts that come will probably be thoughts you recognize. Like, “What the hell are you doing? If you want to be happy you should be cleaning out the fridge right now.” If the thought that comes in makes you feel conflicted, guilty, or any other shade of horrible, dismiss it and go back to blank.
- When you hear something from The Unknown, it will surprise you. Why? Because it’s something you didn’t know before! That’s the definition of unknown. It will feel fresh. It might also delight you; it will at least provide a sense of relief. Relief is the minimum you should accept. If a thought brings relief, you know you’re on the right track. An answer that doesn’t make you feel better is not the answer. Got that?
- Be open to anything. It might be an image, a song, a memory, an impulse to do something. If you feel conflicted, wait. Whatever it is should feel free of heaviness. Whatever it is will feel attractive. It will not be a chore. You will want to go towards it. You may not believe your answer at first, if it’s not what you were expecting. That’s ok. Note it down, whatever you got, and let it go. If it’s the right answer it will come back again tomorrow.
- Give yourself some time. Like anything else, this takes practice. It took a while before the Bob “technique” began to work for me.
I come from a scientific, mostly atheistic family, with a few kindly agnostics thrown in. The scientific method comes naturally to me. You don’t have to believe anything. Make a bold guess, as Sir Isaac Newton advised. A discovery begins with a guess. Then do some experiments. Does The Unknown have an answer for you? Maybe. Maybe not. But assume yes. That’s just a guess. You can then test out your guess. It’s just an experiment. No risk. The worst you can get is no result. In that case maybe it’s not the right technique for you. I’m telling you about one of my experiments. You can play around with my version, or you can devise your own.
To read more stories about Bob, the friendliest of interfaces, click on the “My Bob” tag below
