How to Tell If You Are The Abuser
Very few people instantly know when they are abusing others
If we don’t count the 1% of psychopaths among us humans, nobody sets out to be an abuser.
Yet, scores of people systematically abuse others. Some even derive immense enjoyment out of it. But they don’t see it as abuse. Deep down, under layers of consciousness, they see it as self-protection.
Abusers always act out of pain and fear. They always see the action of the other person as an attack. A vulnerable part of them is afraid of complete annihilation. When triggered, it lashes out in a desperate attempt to contain the threat.
And while the underlying impulse is the same, by the time it reaches the surface of our mind it can take a thousand different forms. Some of them, like hitting somebody, are obvious. Others are more subtle. The most insidious kind, in fact, is the kind you cannot stand up against because it’s cleverly disguised as love and care.
On average, people tend to have passive or vague responses to psychological abuse. And while it has lifetime effects, on both men and women who were victimized, psychological abuse is still very difficult to “pin down.” Since we tend to replicate the patterns we experience as children, having grown up in an abusive environment results in a…
