I can’t do this.

I can’t do this anymore.

WARNING: The following words might be triggering to some readers. If you decide to read on, please continue to read until the end.

Photo by JD Mason on Unsplash

Who am I kidding

I can’t

I just can’t

Why

Why me

Why do I have

To feel

All of these

I want it

To stop

I want it

To go away

How do I

Stop the feeling

How do I

Numb the sensation

It hurts

But I’m fine

It hurts

But I’m not bleeding

I want

To stop

I want

To disappear

Open me up

Rip my heart out

If that is what

It takes

To stop

The feeling

I can’t do this

I can’t do this anymore

I want it

To end

I want it

To stop

I want me

To end

I want me

To stop

Erase me

Set me free


I don’t exactly remember what happened during the time I wrote those words but this is what I know for sure:

I am wrong. I am wrong to say that I couldn’t do it anymore. I don’t even remember what it was that I thought I couldn’t do. Maybe I was able to do it, maybe I wasn’t but who cares. I’m still here and that is what ultimately matters.

If you find yourself in a moment of weakness and utter despair, remembers these words:

You will find yourself in a place and time where you will feel better than yesterday.

I have been through difficult times in my life and I am aware that others have gone through worse. I’m not saying I can make you feel okay through my experience and through my writing but I can tell you, I have an idea of what it feels like to lose hope and to choose not to continue.


I’m putting this out here to remind myself that I will encounter similar or even worse moments in the future and that I can choose to move forward and eventually end up in a time when I simply forget about those moments because I feel better.

I’m putting this out here to remind others the same thing.