I can’t do this.
I can’t do this anymore.
WARNING: The following words might be triggering to some readers. If you decide to read on, please continue to read until the end.
Who am I kidding
I can’t
I just can’t
Why
Why me
Why do I have
To feel
All of these
I want it
To stop
I want it
To go away
How do I
Stop the feeling
How do I
Numb the sensation
It hurts
But I’m fine
It hurts
But I’m not bleeding
I want
To stop
I want
To disappear
Open me up
Rip my heart out
If that is what
It takes
To stop
The feeling
I can’t do this
I can’t do this anymore
I want it
To end
I want it
To stop
I want me
To end
I want me
To stop
Erase me
Set me free
I don’t exactly remember what happened during the time I wrote those words but this is what I know for sure:
I am wrong. I am wrong to say that I couldn’t do it anymore. I don’t even remember what it was that I thought I couldn’t do. Maybe I was able to do it, maybe I wasn’t but who cares. I’m still here and that is what ultimately matters.
If you find yourself in a moment of weakness and utter despair, remembers these words:
You will find yourself in a place and time where you will feel better than yesterday.
I have been through difficult times in my life and I am aware that others have gone through worse. I’m not saying I can make you feel okay through my experience and through my writing but I can tell you, I have an idea of what it feels like to lose hope and to choose not to continue.
I’m putting this out here to remind myself that I will encounter similar or even worse moments in the future and that I can choose to move forward and eventually end up in a time when I simply forget about those moments because I feel better.
I’m putting this out here to remind others the same thing.
