I Spent 8 Hours a Day Googling Cancer Symptoms
OCD-induced health anxiety was my full-time job
My phone glowed in the darkness, illuminating the white cotton sheets bunched in a pile near my pillow. The neighborhood was silent, but I could hear a train whistling in the distance. It was 3 a.m., but the train wasn’t what woke me from my restless slumber.
I went to bed hours ago and passed out within minutes, but as usual, I couldn’t stay asleep. I was worried about the swollen lymph nodes in my neck and the horrible cramps in my abdomen. Oh, and the fact that my concussion-induced aphasia could be a sign of early-onset dementia. At my last appointment, the doctor said my concussion history increased my risk of getting Alzheimer’s later in life.
“I don’t care if I get dementia,” a family member said after asking how my doctor’s appointment went. “It’s only hard on friends and family, not the people who actually get Alzheimer’s. I won’t even realize I have it.”
I wasn’t sure that was true, but I found her words slightly comforting. Not comforting enough to abandon my obsessive Googling, though.
“What is the difference between dementia and normal memory loss?” I asked Google, rubbing my eyes. I scanned the search results anxiously, scared of what I might find.
