I Won’t Deny Myself Good Days

Today was a good day.

Don’t get too excited. The clouds of this illness are still out there.

Still, it was a good day. Today. The sun shined, the waves and wind cooperated, and the boys finally went surfing. Together. When they came home, the boy was chatty. Almost like he used to be.

But, we aren’t back to the way we were before. Because there is no way back. Life is like that, it only moves forward. If you’re lucky, it moves forward.

And today feels healthier, like the locusts are not still waiting around the corner to devour us.

So today, the family conversed. We conversed in conversational voices, not angry ones. We ate dinner together. We told jokes. We laughed at jokes. Anxiety and depression and mania and obsession were all held at bay. Today.

I will not be lulled into a false sense of security, though. Experience has taught me that good days are as ephemeral as cherry blossoms.

And yet, I will not deny myself the delight of a good day.