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I’m Developing Emotional Awareness After Years of Emotional Numbing
I lacked awareness of my emotions because my parents were emotionally dysregulated and never talked about emotions
My parents don’t know how to regulate their emotions. In fact, most of the time they are not aware of how they are feeling. My family never talked about emotions in our house. My parents never asked me if I was happy, sad, disappointed, hurt, or angry. They don’t discuss anything that happened between my friends, at school, or between me and them. Whenever I tried to tell my parents about an experience I had, they would generally cut me off before I was finished.
According to Jonice Webb, Ph.D., the lack of emotional language in one’s household means the children do not get a chance to realize the importance of emotions, fully experience them, and then process them.
This is what happened to me.
My father had anger management issues, was constantly grouchy, got explosively angry, and continually yelled at his wife, mother, brothers, and sisters, and sometimes his children. He had plenty of stressors like potentially being laid off from his job and financial worries over paying for his mortgage and kids’ college educations.
