Is FOMO real?
My name is Niels and I am an addict.
I remember in high school, having to suffer through a documentary about the number one drug indulged and accepted by society, alcohol. It was a crude attempt at getting us, young impressionable things to visualize what would happen to our lives if we were to succumb to what’s already omnipresent and being consumed by parents and idols alike.
Had I seen this film not in 1999 but rather 2009 or later, my hand would have inadvertently wandered into my pocket, in search of my phone for a dose of the real drug numero uno of our times, information.
Yes, information is an addictive drug we all suffer from in varying intensities.
You may be familiar with the slot machine analogy popularized by Tristan Harris in his poignant TED talk — every time we reach for our phones we are filled with anticipation that something exciting might be revealed, like a gambler pulling the lever on a slot machine. Mostly we don’t win but just occasionally we hit the jackpot and our brain is flushed with neurotransmitters.
My late grandfather never owned a smartphone but he read his obscure, slightly left leaning hyper local news paper every morning. He did this with the same intention I have when checking my Facebook feed - not wanting to miss out on what is going on around me.
I recently learned the expression for this; FOMO - fear of missing out.
We are mentally addicted to information and spend a lamentable amount of time consuming low quality information. However for many people it has taken on an obsessive dimension that hinders us from living our lives and engaging in our surroundings. The short YouTube clip I forgot my phone, beautifully illustrates this.
FOMO is an easy to understand anxiety and in extreme cases results in debilitating procrastination.
I am very guilty of this. I wish I had a calling in life that gave me a sense of purpose, a goal worth working towards that helps me delay the small hits of instant gratification I receive from information.
The only comfort I see is in social bench-marking which tells me that I am not as bad as some. The worst example I have seen so far is a Kickstarter campaign “NoPhone” with the cheerful strap line; Phone addiction is real! NoPhone is a Prosthetic slate of plastic shaped like a smartphone to help you get over separation anxiety when your phone is charging or out of reach for any reason... I thank the powers to be that it never got funded but none the less, more than 500 people tried to order one!
This might sound extreme but I saw it in my ex’s behavior when she refused to sleep further than an arms length from here phone.
I remember one morning while we were drifting out of sleep, into consciousness, I felt her extend her arm and for a short moment I believed it was to cuddle me only to find her reaching for her phone.
Why? FOMO.
To those, shouting down from the moral high ground that this is hysterical and I am grossly overstating the addiction to information and the devices that provide it, I suggest they observe the mood shift that occurs when an obnoxious, unmanageable child is given and iPad.
The child immediately stops harassing its surroundings for attention and focuses with remarkable concentration on the touch screen. The fixation can last almost indefinitely but all hell breaks loose once the child and the iPad are to be separated again.
I wish I could focus my attention as intently again as I used to; before I carried a smartphone in my pocket. The seductive lure of an infinite realm of information in my pocket and the chance to learn something new or discover something funny, interesting or outrageous every time I summon it has turned me into an addict.
I need a break.
I would like to be able to unchain myself from my phone, my laptop and all the compulsion to constantly seek out shiny, stimulating distractions.
On the other hand who could blame me for not wanting to give up on all the true benefits and conveniences provided by having a constantly-on internet connection in my pocket?
Can’t I have a more grownup, disciplined relationship with technology if I promise to only use it when its imperative and socially acceptable?
Can’t I have the best of both worlds?
What if I could leave my phone in permanent airplane mode?
But what if…?
FOMO.
When I moved to the states, for a while I did not had a SIM card in my phone and you know what; I loved the feeling of not being harass-able and not having the option to ruin a sunny afternoon by browsing.
Am I becoming a recluse? No. Quite the opposite.
For three days I went on a self induced information diet. I tried to concentrate on genuine transformation instead of gulping down more information which I had been consuming for up to 12 hours, every day for the last four years.
I made a promise to abstain from reading and listening to books, podcast and watching presentations and instead spend time reflecting on the information in my head, writing this essay and trying to interact at a deeper level with the people around me.
This has not been easy. I actually found it quite difficult to entertain myself and it’s left me bored at times but it has also forced me to spend more time creating content to be proud of instead of marveling at other peoples creations.
Saturday mornings I usually spend in bed reading. This Saturday I went to a community garden in my neighborhood to take pictures of hummingbirds, their beauty never failing to move me.
Sunday something interesting happened. I was in Venice beach enjoying a beautiful warm Sunday afternoon and switched on the Wifi on my phone to help me navigate to my next destination.
Suddenly an unexpected Twitter push notifications popped up on my screen.
It informed me that an author whose writing I closely follow would be sitting in a cafe in LA for two hours that afternoon and was happy to meet anyone who bothered to show up!
I was stunned. Not only was this exceptional luck and a beautiful example of how pinpoint-technology experiences delivered at the right time can provide incredible opportunities but also, it unnervingly confirmed that very occasionally FOMO is justified.
I went. I met the author. We talked about this experience. We agreed that this challenge of being connected to the internet without being distracted needs to be met and that its certainly a cause worth my dedication.
Since this experience I have been on a quest to find the answer and I pitched my grand vision to the IncuBus London incubator and they asked me to trim it down to an achievable goal for the three month program I am now on.
If that sounds like something you’d like in your life, please join my trial!
If you you think it’s a pointless idea, by all means leave me comment :)
