It’s The Season to be Jolly, But Why Do I Feel So Depressed?
Depression is a smart thing. It sneaks up on you in ways you don’t know
At least I’m showering. That’s what I keep telling myself. I have OCD to thank for that. Sometimes I wish OCD would get lost so I could skip the shower part. Just one day to be able to go to bed without all the bother of it, but I know if I even tried, I’d be getting out of bed in the middle of the night not just to shower, but changing the bedding, cleaning the bed and god knows what else OCD would be demanding. It would be more effort than the shower itself.
Is It the Depression, or is it Me?
I’m trying to figure out if I’m not writing because depression struck, or if depression struck because I stopped writing. I am sure they’re both linked in one way or another. Writing is the thing that makes my soul thrive. It is part of me, but I haven’t written an article in a few weeks. If you were to open the manuscript for my novel, it would tell you I last opened it over a week.
Every time I think about doing either, it feels so hard, so tiring. I’m sitting here, writing this and pausing to put my head down on the desk. But I have to keep going, keep writing. The only way to fight the bully in my head is to keep getting back up.
