Lessons from a Lockdown: 8 Things I’ve Learned So Far

Nobody knows what’s going on. But the least we can do is learn from it.

Every week, I give some thoughts, tips and resources for how we can all better deal with our minds and emotions, in the Monday State of Mind newsletter. People tell me it helps them. Which is always nice to hear.

But despite writing as if coming from some place of mindfulness and serenity, during this time of uncertainty and isolation, I gotta be honest with you all — I haven’t got a clue what’s going on.

Does anybody, really? Yes, I try to maintain the activities and thought exercises I preach. But I’ve never done this before either. My routine is all over the place. Sleep patterns are up and down. Drinking patterns are moderate, but frequent. I’m bored beyond belief, desperate for other humans and every two or three weeks I have a 24 hour emotional meltdown.

This is new to all of us. We all have our own, individual challenges, that we’ve never had to deal with before and we’re all doing our best to deal with them.

An opportunity to learn

Fortunately, any challenge provides an opportunity to learn — to understand ourselves, our emotions, reactions, motivations. To observe them, learn from them, try to make this process easier as it goes on — and maybe even apply them to the outside world, once it’s over.

We’re a few weeks into, what many have called, one of the biggest challenges to our mental health in generations. So if every challenge is an opportunity to learn, this could in fact be the best opportunity we’ve ever had.

Of course, everybody is different. Our situations, our personal preferences. But for most people, the thing we have in common is we can all use this as a way to understand those situations and preferences better.

Here are eight things I’ve learned so far — some unique to me, some which others may relate to, but all things I can learn from to improve my quarantine — and maybe even some lessons I can take beyond the lockdown.

Things I’ve learned so far

1) I shouldn’t think too much after a bad night’s sleep

I’m an 8-hour sleep kinda guy. If I don’t get enough sleep, I’m cranky and see the world slightly worse than usual. That’s important to understand; firstly, so I know to prioritise sleep; and secondly, because if I do start seeing the world a bit worse than it is and start thinking things that don’t help me, I know I don’t need to overthink it if I’ve also had a bad night’s sleep. I’m just tired and there may not be much more to it.

Lesson from a lockdown #1: Prioritise sleep, go easy on myself if I don’t get enough.

2) Moderate indulgence is great

A balancing act that is never easy to master, quarantine or otherwise. I’m probably averaging a glass of wine a night. Chocolate and coffee are highlights of my day, which I genuinely look forward to. But I stay aware of the consumption. I don’t want to go too wild, but at time of few pleasures, these treats are good for morale. If I can master moderation, at a time when I’m always only steps from the fridge, I’m in a good place for going back to fridge-distancing.

Lesson from a lockdown #2: Prioritise a healthy diet, but enjoy the little things in life — food, drink or otherwise.

3) Attenborough docs in the background are soothing

Seriously — Blue Planet, just loud enough to to hear, quiet enough not to distract, close enough to remind me that the world is beautiful, maybe even enough to pretend I have company. David Attenborough is becoming to me what Wilson the volleyball was to Tom Hanks in Castaway.

Lesson from a lockdown #3: Attenborough is a don.

4) Being held accountable gets me out of bed

Working alone, I don’t have a “start time” for work. Which is great. But it does mean I can easily not get out of bed if I don’t have an early morning appointment. So I have 8:30am check-ins with a friend, who also works alone. We drink coffee, go through what we’re up to that day, chat some shit and get on with it. It’s nice to have the connection, keeps me accountable and means I’m showered and working at a respectable hour, instead of sending emails under the duvet.

Lesson from a lockdown #4: Get someone to keep me accountable for the things a boss usually would.

5) Some things make me feel good, some don’t

Aside from sleep and Attenborough, other things that make me feel good are going outside to walk or run, stretching, two or three chats every day. Some things that don’t are hangovers, watching too much bad news and getting into family debates on Whatsapp. As with sleep, recognising this helps me to know what I should and shouldn’t do to feel good, and not to overthink anything else if they’re likely the cause behind if I don’t.

Lesson from a lockdown #5: Being aware of what works and what doesn’t work for me, gives me guidance on how to optimise wellbeing.

6) The digital world is great, but restrictions are essential

I feel bad sometimes, because I get these invites from friends to join group Zooms and House Parties or whatever, and I’m just like, “sorry, but no”. Staring at 10 people’s faces at once fries my brain. To all my friends, I’m sorry, I love you, but that’s just where I’m at.

We’ve gone from a time when we were already spending most of our day looking at a screen. Now, that’s increased massively, it’s become even more important that we own our tech — not the other way around.

Lesson from a lockdown #6: Lay boundaries in my relationship with tech. (here’s more on how).

7) Could be better, could be worse

My first fortnightly emotional blip came when I realised that not everybody else was living and working alone. Just when I thought everyone was as isolated as I was, I realised some people are in loads of space with people they love, getting paid to do nothing. What about me?

On the other hand, there are people in far worse situations than I am. Like, really horrible ones that my privileged ass can’t even begin to imagine.

Lesson from a lockdown #7: Comparing my situation with others’ is a waste of time, unless for gaining perspective or being inspired (here’s some more ideas on that).

8) Wallowing in self-pity is fine…providing there’s an exit strategy

We all feel like shit sometimes and that’s fine. If I’m feeling demotivated, for example, then sometimes I’ll try and act quickly to get out of it. But sometimes, I’ll just let it happen, watch a load of shit youtube videos and eat pizza in my underpants.

If it does happen, I just need to know I have an exit strategy. I’ll refer to my arsenal of things that I know make me feel good or bad, assess which of them I have or haven’t been doing and think about the small steps I can make towards what I know will do me good. Like, switching my phone off and getting an early night’s sleep, acknowledging that tomorrow is another day and thinking about how I want to wake up.

Lesson from a lockdown #8: Eat more pizza in my underpants. Oh, and have an “exit strategy” — a process that I know will pick me up, even if it’s a gradual one.

An ongoing process

This is possibly the biggest social experiment ever. We’ve no idea how long it’ll last, how it’ll end up, how it’ll affect our individual or collective mental health, or of any guaranteed magic formula to make it easier for everyone.

The only thing we can control right now, is how we deal with it ourselves; and the best way we can influence the outcome, is by what we can learn and take from it.

So that’s where I’m at. Where are you?

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