Managing Stress So It Doesn’t Manage You
How many times have you said or heard someone say “I’m so stressed out.”? In a society where people often equate stress and being busy to worth, people often wear stress like a badge of honor — especially in the workplace. Despite this attitude, stress is still overwhelmingly viewed negatively. Perhaps rightfully so. Stress can do terrible things to your mental and physical health, and, according to the Mayo Clinic online, can cause the following and more:
Headache, anxiety, muscle pain, angry outbursts, chest pain, lack of motivation or focus, drug or alcohol misuse, fatigue, irritability, anger, and sadness
WebMD defines stress as, “The body’s reaction to harmful situations.” However, WebMD also states:
Stress means different things to different people. What causes stress in one person may be of little concern to another. Some people are better able to handle stress than others. And, not all stress is bad. In small doses, stress can help you accomplish tasks.
I routinely work 60+ hour weeks and frequently end up working over 70 hours. When I first started working these hours, I often felt overwhelmed and felt like the stress was taking over my life, making it impossible for me to be happy and live the life I wanted to live outside of work. However, in more recent years, I’ve learned to successfully manage my stress and even use it to thrive in my environment. While I do many things to help manage my stress, below are the three most important things that helped me both manage and conquer my stress that I hope will help others as well.
Know Your Stress Symptoms
Stress manifests differently for all of us.
While many of the symptoms may be the same across people, it is impossible to truly master your stress until you recognize your symptoms of stress. The key is to recognize your symptoms before it’s too late and do something to help manage them before you get so stressed out that you find yourself sobbing in the kitchen or not sleeping all night. To identify your stress symptoms, you can try a few different things:
Think Back to A Stressful Situation
What made you realize that you were stressed? How did you feel mentally? Emotionally? What physical reactions did you have (headache, anxiety, increased breathing/heart rate, etc.)?
Wait Until You Feel Stressed
Grab a piece of paper or your phone. What is making you stressed? How do you know you are stressed? How do you feel mentally? Emotionally? What physical reactions do you have (headache, anxiety, increased breathing/heart rate, etc.)?
Think About Which Situations Stress You Out
Many people have trouble identifying how they feel when they are stressed, rather, they just know it when it happens. If this is the case for you, I suggest trying to make a list of the situations that cause stress. After you have a good list of 5–10 situations, try and categorize these into groups (e.g. looming deadline at work, public speaking engagement, missed child’s concert, etc.). Once you do this, you will at least be able to recognize which situations have the potential to stress you out, even if you cannot get a good handle on your stress symptoms.
Armed with this information, pay attention to growing symptoms of stress or potential upcoming stressful situations, and employ some of the stress management strategies below (or whatever works for you).
Engage in Physical Activity (or Other Stress Management Strategies)
There is no more effective stress management technique for me than physical activity. Right or wrong, I prioritize regular exercise over other important needs, including sleep. I’m not implying that I don’t sleep so that I can go for a long run, however, if given the choice between getting 6.5 hours of sleep or getting 6 hours of sleep and a 20 minute intense run in the morning, I’ll choose the 6 hours and the run every single time. This may not be the correct choice for everyone, but years of experimentation have proven this is the right choice for me.
What is clear though, is that many experts suggest physical activity as an effective stress management technique. For example, Harvard Medical School says that,
“Even a simple 20-minute stroll can clear the mind and reduce stress.”
For more information on how exercise can help relieve stress, check out the full article here. Even if a 20-minute walk sounds terrible, give it a try. You might be surprised at how much it can help in those stressful moments. If you try it and exercise just isn’t for you, check out this article at Psychology Today for some tips on stress management.
Reframe the Situation
I’m a firm believer that stress is often a positive, motivating force. Especially while at work, I perform my best when I am mildly to moderately stressed.
In order to not get overwhelmed by the stress I’m feeling, I try and reframe the situation into something that motivates me instead of something that threatens me.
For example, if I am assigned to manage a short project in a new subject area with a difficult client that is sure to require long hours, I reframe the situation as a growth opportunity, focusing on the positives such as new subject matter, opportunity for personal growth, etc.
This strategy is much more effective if you can reframe the situation before you are in the midst of it and find yourself extremely stressed. This is where the point above on knowing which situations are likely to cause you stress is critical. I know the type of work that will be particularly challenging to me and I will reframe at the outset, before the stress peaks. This skill takes a while to develop and hone, but it pays dividends long into the future if you take the time to master it.
While stress manifests differently for everyone, knowing your stress symptoms or situations that cause you stress, engaging in physical activity or other stress management techniques, and reframing stressful situations as personal opportunities are techniques that can help you conquer stress instead of being overwhelmed by it.
