My Pills and I Have A Love Hate-Relationship
I remember the day clearly:
I was almost 13 years old when my parents and I paraded into a near-empty doctor’s office around 6 p.m. It was a dreary fall day in mid-September — something that set the tone for what would happen.
It was a rare occurrence for my dad come to a doctor’s appointment, so I knew this must have been important. But I didn’t fully grasp why I had to come to this doctor.
I now realize that over the couple years before that appointment, my mental health rapidly declined. I was prone to outbursts, and I had trouble focusing in school. I had trouble controlling my emotions, becoming easily tearful. My parents took me to see a psychiatric nurse practitioner so I could get help.
What seemed like an eternity later, a blonde lady with short hair came to bring my parents and me back to her office. She introduced herself as Patty.
I don’t remember the exact conversation, but somehow Patty and my parents agreed to try me on psychiatric medication. They explained it to me in kid terms and it seemed overwhelming. I held myself together in the office, but when I got to the elevator, I could not anymore.
I burst into tears, shrilling that “only crazy people take medication.”
My parents reassured me and explained to me again that the medication would only help me. It would make me be able to focus more and not feel as distressed.
I didn’t believe them, but now I do.
It’s been 15 years since my initial appointment with Patty. I grew up and graduated to adult psychiatrists. I gained a diagnosis of bipolar disorder from my current psychiatrist. This diagnosis took too long to get, but that’s a story for another day.
I have had trials and tribulations with my medications, but I am so grateful for my parents getting the help I needed.
As much as I hate my pills (and their side-effects), I know that they helped me in so many ways.
I am functioning and holding down a job. I have a steady relationship and live in my own apartment. Without my medications, I don’t think I would have been this successful.
Too many times I hear of parents not getting their children the help that they need. Though my parents are not perfect, I am blessed that they got me the help that I needed.
I have always had love-hate relationship with my pills, but I believe starting them was the right choice. I thank my parents for guiding me to that decision. I am far from a crazy person. I am just a person with an illness and my pills became part of my daily routine.
