The Natural Selection — the only way out
In our culture, asking “Why” is almost a taboo. Accepting things as it is, is considered wise. If you hoped for a better reality you’re considered unthankful and a rebel. If you wished for better circumstances, you are letting the devil get hold of you.
What is the purpose of living? What is the purpose of being forced to live a life you are not even slightly in control of? A life that has got only unfortunate events with only some good in between, and you are asked to be thankful for the little time you feel fine or good. Why should I appreciate a life that I hate and can’t find a way to be in peace with? Why should one be intimidated for every second of his life with various negative emotions and needs to survive through it? Why lessons can’t be taught in a way that saves us time and dignity? Why is everything pleasurable a sin? Why I love someone and not allowed to express my love? For the fear of rejection or further pain? Why am I such a failure? Why am I in need to people who never cared for me, who never were there for me? Why is being good an evil path? Full of despair and grief? Why there is no good out of being good? What is fair about not knowing what is going to happen? Why is faith so volatile? Why is it when I am thankful, I lose? Why is it when there is a tiny chance of being rewarded, it gets flushed down the toilet in a blink of an eye? Why am I given a taste of what I always desired, then asked to let go of it? If nothing makes sense anymore, there won’t be a reason for carrying on.
Thoughts that I was always told not to think of. Being warned of being unthankful and unfaithful. Such questions weren’t the reason I am feeling like this now. It is accepting the society’s manual and life’s catalog of living. It didn’t work out for me, that’s why I am here. Full of sadness and cruelty. Anger and hopelessness. Needs that will never be fulfilled. Wishes that if at any time can be granted, still will be deprived of later. Life is not eternal. But then, is this fair?
This is life, face it, I’m told. I am not giving up, I want it to stop. If it doesn’t, so it’s better to abandon it. Let natural selection do its job. Only the best of us survives, only those who silence their minds live.
