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Invisible Illness

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No, You Are Not Being “Judgy”

How past trauma creates snap judgements of others as self-protective.

7 min readJun 9, 2025

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Trigger Warning: The following content includes personal experiences and discussions around difficult topics such as trauma, emotional challenges, childhood maltreatment, or abusive relationships. While my intent is to educate and share personal insights, some readers may find certain content emotionally distressing. This article is for informational purposes only.

We have all done it. No one is immune to making an arbitrary or impulsive judgment about a person, not even those who swear they are above judging others. Full disclosure, one of my personal impulsive judgments happens when I see shameless self-promotion on social media about being “just a regular guy” or “just a girl who doesn’t try to stand out from the crowd.” When I see these, my immediate reaction is to question them. After all, would a truly Average Joe or low-key girl feel a need to ‘advertise’ how special they are by using a self-deprecating ‘humble’ stance? I think not.

That aside, we all have our tendencies to judge others. You may judge someone based on how they look, such as the type of clothes they wear, their body type, how many visible designer labels they have, the style of their hair, or the type of car they drive. Social judgments may include where…

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Annie Tanasugarn, PhD
Annie Tanasugarn, PhD

Written by Annie Tanasugarn, PhD

Relationship Specialist & Coach. My only account. Sign up for my week,y newsletter & learn what a secure relationship is all about. www.behaviorthrive.com

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