Not Even Psychology Could Shield Me From My Feelings
In a room full of therapists, I learned we’re all vulnerable
I recently attended a conference on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CTB). In one of the lectures on schema therapy, a branch of CBT, we watched a training video depicting a therapy session.
The video was scripted, and we all knew the patient was only acting, but on our side of the screen, the tension in the room was palpable. In the scene, a woman was completely numb and paralyzed by depression. She kept her head down, her matted hair creating a curtain that hid her face. No matter how the therapist probed at her, she refused to answer his inquiries.
After a couple of minutes, the lecturer paused the video and asked us to recognize our immediate emotional reaction to the scene. There must have been a hundred psychologists in that room; some were students like me, others had years, if not decades, of practice. Most were uncomfortable. People reported feeling distressed and anguished. Some said they felt lost, and admitted they wouldn’t know what to do in a situation like that.
I felt like I was twelve years old again, watching my mother succumb to depression. I wanted to run and hide like I had done countless times before. As a child, I would see the look of misery on my mother’s…