Putting Yourself First is Not Selfish
It’s vital.
When I went into show business and began singing for audiences in my 20's it was always a nerve wracking experience for me.
I sang in hotel lounges with my guitar for a small salary and tips.
I was often in a state of panic before, during and after my gigs. At the time I didn’t know it was called Panic or Anxiety disorder, but I was almost constantly battling panic.
I had no idea what my problem was.
I knew I was talented, some would say ‘very gifted’, but I also had another side of me that was in total terror quite often.
I remember my mom asking me “Why do you act so weird?”
I wasn’t ‘weird’. I was in fear.
I remember once she was driving me to a gig with a friend of hers. They were in the front seat. I was in the back seat clinging to my guitar, reciting my lines, fidgeting with my makeup, trying to keep my shit together, hold my shakiness at bay — wondering why my whole friggin body was shaking!
I didn’t dare mention my fears to them. They were chit chatting in the front seat oblivious while I felt I was ‘dying’ in the back.
My mom usually dismissed any of my fears with comments like:
“But….You’re so talented’.
