PTSD + the beginning

Being diagnosed at 28, and what that means

I feel as though I have been absent for a very long time. Not just from Medium, and my writing as a whole, but also from the rest of my life. I don’t think I handled my PTSD diagnosis well, but it’s getting better all the time. Perhaps this piece will explain that.

Several years ago, I began to open up on Medium about certain aspects of my past. I wrote about being an exotic dancer and sex worker, and one piece of mine got some traction in The Billfold. It made sense that this side of myself would begin to become more clear, as I also narrate erotic literature under this identity.

In my day-to-day life, I worked a regular job. My history with workplaces had been mixed and occasionally rocky. I had been working since I was a young teen. The types of jobs I had were broad. Administrative. Babysitter. Restaurant. Stripper. Craig’s List prostitute. Banking & financial. I had my bachelor’s degree, and also loans to go along with it. My desperation for regular income, my loan interest rates, and graduation timing made my path and decision making processes often hectic and panicky.

However, in my late 20’s, I thought I had found myself in a stable job I was lucky to have found and landed. I was no longer on the front lines of a company, being screamed at by insane…