Put your Heart where your Mouth is.
I hate to say it, but my need for food as a means of comfort and escape run very deep within me. Since as long as I can remember feeling uncomfortable, hurt, depressed, angry or even sometimes happy, would always lead me straight to the kitchen pantry or the nearest restaurant to ease the flood of emotions and chaotic thoughts raging inside me.
The harder truth is that when I would eat, I would feel better and calm. I would experience a release. I don’t care what others say, eating makes you feel good. It washes your pain and stress away. For a short time, that is.
It took a peaceful mind though to help me see what was happening afterward. I did feel good when I ate. Everything was ok. But 30 minutes later was a whole other story. After I gave in to my cravings and sat with it for a bit, a rush of negative feelings would begin to pop up. I don’t know about you, but for me, the good feelings of being full were always followed by shame. Over time, it would plunge me into a place where not much matters. I wrote yesterday that food kept me from living. But that’s not the only thing it takes from you.
When you give in to food as one of your main sources of comfort, it steals your ability to feel joy.
There’s a lot of dark days in the past 10 years filled with a complete numbness. With me wondering what the point of even getting out of bed was. With me finding success at work and still leaving completely empty. It’s as if you are a zombie that seems to somehow walk through life sleeping awake.
BUT WAIT! There’s hope. All of us, deep inside out hearts, have passions and talents. Hopes and dreams. Things that when we find the strength to do them, we feel alive. We also have family and friends that bring us happiness. A community that reminds us that we are loved and adored. This is where true joy comes from.
Over the last year, I have sought out my pleasure in some of the things in my heart. For me, these were music, writing, and learning. They take time to cultivate the sort of gratification that you want. But if you stick to them long enough they provide a much better replacement for food.
Food may make you happy for a day, but the heart has the ability to satisfy you for a lifetime.
I won’t lie and say I don’t crave unhealthy things. I won’t say that when I feel bad or stressed out that one of the thoughts in my mind isn’t to soothe it with a greasy pizza. I’m not sure that will ever fully go away. It’s called an addiction for a reason. It always sits there in the background waiting for you to give it power. But I can say that each day I pour into my heart instead of pouring into my mouth, I feel more fulfilled and content. And each day that addiction gets smaller and smaller.
Try it for yourself. The next time you want to look to food for happiness, look instead to your heart. I promise you won’t be disappointed if you give it a real chance. It will transform your life and in doing so, your body.
