24 years ago today, Shannon Hoon, the lead singer of Blind Melon, died of an accidental overdose.
I’ve had a thing for “grunge dudes” for as long as I can remember. Something about the long hair and ripped jeans really gets me going. But I’ve always been fascinated (for a lack of a better word) with their deaths, as well.
You start to play any grunge playlist and get me even just a tad bit intoxicated, and you’re pretty much guaranteed to hear my all my thoughts on Kurt’s suicide and Shannon’s overdose. Since Nirvana and Blind Melon are my favorite bands their short lives really get to me. Just ask my husband, he’ll tell you all about how devastated I am not just for me, but for the whole world, for all the life changing music that we were all robbed of…. Like I said, I get pretty worked up…
Anyways, the point is, I have a soft spot for these guys and their stories. And today I’m thinking about Shannon even more than usual.
I keep thinking about how badly I wanted to be the bee girl when I was younger. I remember watching her dance in those badass tights as I got ready for school, wishing I could bottle up and drink some of her confidence for breakfast.
I keep thinking about one of the first whole weekends I spent with Joe, and how we listened to his Blind Melon CDs on repeat the whole time. When I think about falling in love, Blind Melon and Kings of Leon are the tunes playing in the background. I keep thinking of how much talent Shannon had, and how incredible Soup was. I keep wondering what the band would have come out with next.
But mostly, I keep thinking about how just last week, their song Change managed to once again, save the day for me.
I had been feeling extra crazy due to a dose change in my meds and the grey day was making me extra blue. I just remember feeling pointless. I was listening to my latest self-help audiobook when I thought, I’m not picking up any of this…. let’s try something different. I hadn’t listened to music in months, so I was pleasantly surprised when I opened Goggle Play and the first song to play on shuffle was one by Blind Melon.
I had heard Change a 100 times, but I had never needed the lyrics as badly as I did that day. When Shannon sang
When you feel your life ain’t worth living
You’ve got to stand up
And take a look around and you look way up to the sky
Yeah, and when your deepest thoughts are broken
Keep on dreaming boy, ’cause when you stop dreamin’ it’s time to die
I’ve always been that girl, the one who connects to songs and loves to talk about how they make me feel and what I think they mean, but I remember feeling like Shannon was singing just for me. Like he wrote this song just to remind me that, when life is hard, you have to change.
And though I know that’s not the case, I do know that in that moment, that’s exactly what he did. He sang those words just for me, and I changed.
Rest in peace Shannon Hoon. Thank you for the music and happiness and you brought us.