Some Days Are Better Than Others
I am an avid music fan. I listen to it, I read about it and I play it.
I like music to surround me like a soundtrack. I find music such a powerful medium. Music comforts me, it lifts me up. In essence, like many other people it evokes powerful emotions in me.
Several months ago I had without doubt, the most difficult week of my life so far. I was in the middle of a three month period off work due to depression. The trigger for this depression was the breakdown of my marriage. I subsequently became embroiled in a costly attempt to have some kind of contact with my children, despite there being no safeguarding concerns against me. The dynamics of this situation are way beyond the scope of this article. Suffice to say during this darkest period of my life Children’s Services were on the brink of ‘giving up on supporting me to fight for contact with my children.’ I was also on the brink of running out of money for legal fees. I simply miss(ed) my children who at time of writing I have now not seen for twelve months. The constant legal battle to see my children, along with what became an incredibly intense and overwhelming struggle with my own mental health became too much for me to cope with. That particular week was without doubt the most physically and mentally exhausting time of my life.
So what’s this got to do with music? Well, I have recently been revisiting U2’s 1993 album Zooropa. Track 7 ‘Some Days are Better Than Others’ resonated with me the most as I have recently reflected back on that incredibly difficult week.
“Some days take less, but most days take more, some slip through your fingers and onto the floor.”
The song starts with a thumping bass line from Adam Clayton and builds to a typical U2 chorus. The Edge’s distinctive guitar style carries the song along, while being underpinned by Larry Mullen Jr’s unique drumming style. As much as Bono is viewed by many as divisive, in my humble opinion he is a skilled lyricist.
‘Some days take less, but most days take more, some slip through your fingers and onto the floor,’ Bono sings, as I reflect back on that week where some days I had found it too difficult to get out of bed and cope with the magnitude of what I was faced with at the time.
‘Some days you hear a voice, taking you to another place…,’ I had considered giving up. That is now not an option.
‘Some days are sulky, some days have a grin, and some days have bouncers and won’t let you in…’ At times during that week a glimmer of hope faded away as quickly as it appeared. I was simply finding it too difficult to cope with some of those days. At times the constant uphill struggle hit me like a sledgehammer.
“To be able to love and be loved is an amazing feeling. It is a privilege not to be wasted.”
This song also prompted me to reminisce about going with friends to see U2 at the former Wembley Stadium in London in 1993. This positive memory reminding me of how amazing and precious life is. To share your life with those around you is an amazing thing. This in turn evoked in me the feeling of how amazing life can be. To be able to love and be loved is an amazing feeling. It is a privilege not to be wasted.
I have come to realise that with depression, some days are better than others. I am just one of an incalculable number of people out there that suffer from mental health difficulties. It is not that I suffer from my depression less, the stressors and circumstances remain unchanged. I have just learnt to manage it better, with newly found insight and the love and compassion of those around me. I am a lucky one.
At times life is difficult, but I am fortunate that I have amazing support from amazing people. And to them I am eternally grateful. Thank you.
Simply put ‘some days are better than others’.
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