Stop Being a Victim!

Daughter of a Narcissist’s Survival Story

Photo by Caroline Hernandez on Unsplash

Did you know that highly sensitive children are the favourite meal of bullies and narcissists? I learned that lesson the hard way.

Not only was I bullied by other kids because I was different, but the torture kept on going on at home through the verbal abuse of my narcissistic father.

Is it normal to tell your 5-year-old kid that he or she is fat or stupid on a regular basis?

In other words, I was bullied as much at home as in school. There was no respite. I thank my lucky star that social media such as Facebook and other websites had not been invented yet. Otherwise, my torment would have been thrice worst! I think I may not have survived to tell the tale…

For those who might be wondering if they have ever met a narcissist or if they might have one in their life, here are some clues:

“The hallmarks of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) are grandiosity, a lack of empathy for other people, and a need for admiration.”

Being victim of narcissistic abuse every day can take its toll. The last psychologist that I saw diagnosed me with Post Narcissist Stress Disorder. Akin to PTSD,

“The common symptoms of PNSD include intrusive memories that provoke anxiety, avoidance and lead to withdrawal from social activities and hyper-vigilant emotions. These express themselves in high levels of stress or anxiety, regular outbursts of anger, troubled sleep and general inability to focus on simple everyday tasks.”

If having a narcissist in your life can lead to a lot of pain, can you imagine what it would be like to be raised by one?

“The reality of narcissistic parenting couldn’t be sadder: The child of the narcissist realizes early on that he exists to provide a reflection for the parent and to serve the parent — not the other way around.”

It means that, as far as my narcissistic father was concerned, I was some kind of foil meant to make him look good. The same way he would parade me in public places as a baby/infant to get compliments and women’s phone numbers, he was so proud to tell anyone that would listen how his daughter had such good grades, and all. But he would never have told me so. On the contrary, he would go so far as to tell me that I was stupid! When I finally confronted him, later on, he said that he meant well, it was to force me to be even better!

Nothing but perfection is ever good enough to a narcissist.

After more than 20 years spent under his thumb and a lot of fighting — I even had to hire an attorney — I have finally managed to keep my father out of my life. As difficult as this can be when the narcissist in your life is a member of your family, it is the only way to free ourselves from such monsters. Do not worry what others might think of you, protect yourself!

As the child of a narcissist, I cannot rebuild myself like any article on psychology keeps saying. The foundation of my self is compromised. I have to go back to the basics then build myself up from there. I can say that little by little, I am getting there.

My name is Marie, and I am no longer the victim of bullies or narcissists!

Marie B — One of the Faces of Invisible Illnesses: With degrees in such fields as anthropology, translation, world literature, and communication, I’ve been trying to understand humans and their behaviour. The invisible illnesses multiplying themselves since my childhood, I have acquired quite a lot of knowledge in the medical field throughout the years. I even got into a doctoral program in medical anthropology wanting to study chronic pain sufferers, but my body gave out on me…

As a freelance content writer (French & English), translator, and teacher, I am trying to help my fellow invisible illnesses and chronic pain sufferers in our search for ways to feel better, and get some quality of life back.

To learn more about my work and interests: LinkedIn, Twitter, Pinterest

Observer of life and its many faces. I have spent years studying languages, lit, comm M.A., and the human psyche!

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