Taming Should Statements Helped Me Find Self-Love and Battle Depression
Should statements create unrealistic standards and impossible expectations, upon failing which our self-worth plummets
Last week, I was walking my dog, and, while he was sniffing patches of grass, I contemplated requesting a therapy session. My depression had returned; for over two months I had felt empty, drowsy, lethargic. I had a permanent dull headache, no energy, no interest, no motivation. My body felt heavy, weighed down. Even climbing out of bed seemed a challenge.
I recognized these symptoms all too well, and I considered ringing my therapist. But then a small voice in my head said: ‘You should not need therapy. You should not need help. You should be able to handle this alone.’
I hoped I had left should statements in the past. But old habits die hard.
Should statements are a cognitive distortion, which, according to the American Psychological Association (APA), are ‘faulty or inaccurate’ thinking, perceptions, or beliefs. Dr. Peter Grinspoon, primary care physician at the Massachusetts General Hospital and instructor at the Harvard Medical School, calls them ‘internal mental filters or biases’.
