The Impact of Lies
How deception harms
Miranda’s childhood familial environment of domestic violence, marital infidelity, control tactics and neglect contributed to her incurring complex trauma. Yet, in our therapy sessions, she is clear that out of all the injuries incurred, what hurt her the most were the constant lies and deception perpetrated by her malignant narcissistic father. It was his insidious, dishonest maneuvering that kept Miranda embroiled in a circuitous pattern of searching for ‘the truth’.
As an adult, Miranda’s state of anticipatory betrayal catalyzed volatile dynamics with men who expressed romantic interest. Expecting deception offered her a locus of control. She convinced herself that if she assumed duplicity was inevitable then she could either avoid it or at the very least when it transpired, she would not be as devastated. Hence, even when evidence was lacking she interrogated those she feared getting close to. Like a spy, on a mission she had a dossier on every man she dated. This made it impossible for safety and trust to ensue.
Indeed, it’s the activation incited by traumatic abuse that causes the victim to perceive threat even when it’s not there. This state of hyper-vigilance catalyzes the affect heuristic, in which the trauma victim’s emotional response alone determines how a choice is made or a problem is solved. Hence, if they are…
