The Little Things DO Matter
And how we should use self-help media to actually better ourselves.
I recently read an article here on Medium that labeled most research in psychology as false, with a heavy focus on the how “the little things” that we do fail at making a difference in our psychological well-being. The writing was played out with references to unusable studies, ones that couldn’t be mainstreamed to fit the needs of everyone, with efforts at debunking the positive effects of power-posing, gaining environmental awareness, and utilizing mindset awareness strategies for long-term achievement.
I agree with the writer’s approach and his intention on bringing light to studies and thoughts that are not “one size fits all”. However, there are a lot of misinterpretted messages coming out of independent self-help media. And in this case, I don’t think the messages themselves are the problem.
There are people taking in the message that they should not use certain practices in bettering themselves because there is no way that the findings from related studies could apply to everyone. Then, there are other people getting the message that they should always use these practices because the practices have worked for some people. Why aren’t we pushing for a middle ground? Is it really that hard to say “Maybe I could learn something from that study to apply in my own life” instead of “It works like this because the studies prove it” or “It doesn’t work on anyone because the study’s results are inaccurate”?
With self-help, there is a great feeling of power in saying that you know how something will workout for you, especially when you measured its success based off of how you responded to it, both emotionally and physically.
If you think a particular self-help strategy might work for you, then take a moment to think about if it is worth the time and effort to make the changes needed in applying it. If the new strategy doesn’t work for you, it’s ok. Your succeeding by trying it out and learning something about yourself in the process, even if you didn’t like what you discovered. You can always try again and make some some personal tweaks here and there. Or, you could determine that the strategy doesn’t work for you, write it off, and then start your search for something new.
Like I said before, I agree with the writer that practical applications coming out of these studies are not “quick-fixes” for developing a better mindset and influencing success. However, I’m seeing that the most important takeaway from these studies and related practices are being ignored.
What we should be taking away from psychological studies on mindfullness and well-being is in the value of self-awareness. It is easy for us to say that credibility and the lack of quantifiable results are the reasons behind why we don’t want to apply these techniques in our own lives. But, it is even easier to ignore the importance of self-awareness, the seemingly invisible purpose behind all of these studies. We CAN be better humans, but we have to overcome this idea that we can be optimally self-aware without trying to be.
Our self-awareness, our ability to explore the different ways in which we can help ourselves, is what illustrates the map that leads us to move passed the difficult times in life. It’s a map that is always growing because we are always curious and willing to explore unknown territory. And to use that map, we don’t have to take the main routes and use the same type of transportation every time, nor is it recommended. We go at our own pace, sometimes driving and sometimes walking, sometimes taking the highway and sometimes taking the more scenic country back roads. YOU are in control of which routes you take and how you will travel them.
So, my point is that we all have different ways that we find clarity, define truth, and pursue our own development, but we have to be curious and self-aware in order to choose the ways that work best for us. There is nothing wrong with testing what has worked on others on ourselves, especially if it is something with low risks and the potential to have a great impact on our well-being. Don’t ever be afraid to learn about what works best for YOU.
I wrote another article today on how I used awareness techniques in a way that could help my daughter overcome a tantrum of emotional overwhelm. There is absolutely no way she would have successfully used any of the methods in the ways you see them laid out in self-help articles. I invite you to use it as an example of how remembering all of those bits and pieces from your library of self-help resources can, in fact, turn out to be quite helpful. The article can be accessed here.
